Heartbroken- Toddler favours father - please help!

[puffysthename]

Feeling gutted. My two year old daughter favours her daddy. I'm glad that they have an amazing relationship of course but still I find it hard when she throws herself into a hug with him or says 'go away mummy'. I had another baby 5 months ago and had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks as my son and I both had serious infections. At this time my daughter developed chicken pox and wasn't allowed to the hospital and so we had a week where we were just on FaceTime and a week where she visited once a day. I know this must have been a traumatising and awful time for her. Prior to that we'd never had a day we didn't see each other. I feel guilty about the circumstances of the birth all the time. The pregnancy had been difficult so there were some weekends where she'd go for a walk or to soft play just with her dad (before that we did everything together) but I still had her on my own for two days during the week... So I know her life has changed entirely and she must get fed up seeing me breastfeeding her brother all the time but I suppose I'm asking do some kids just favour one parent always? I feel like she see her dad as 'her'person and I'm her brothers. It makes me so sad. I know parenting = pain at times but this is really getting to me. I know it probably sounds childish but sometimes I want to be her favourite person. Any words of advice would be welcome.

I think that’s entirely expected, but nothing personal to you. You’ve all been through a lot, plus you have a new baby. Dad has become fun dad.

Give it time and she’ll come round. Do some fun things, just you and her. Get dad to do more with baby as well. Praise her when she does something good and she’ll respond to that.

In 6 months she will go through 3 months where she hates him and only wants you, it’s just how it goes. It’s nothing personal.

Helpful

Normal given the situation. I would ask DH to take baby for a bit, even if it's just 30 mins every Saturday and Sunday to then do something DD wants to do, just with you. Don't try and emulate DH, do something different.

Oh my word.

This must be a joke.

Very normal and would likely have happened even without the difficult birth, chickenpox or Even a second child. Kids just go through these phases. It'll be your turn again soon enough.

This is perfectly natural and possibly because you have a younger child who is taking your attention. Kids go through phases of 'preferring' parents in turn anyway.

Mine are older and can be similar but then I think, who is the one who on insists on giving them the occasional vegetable, brushes their teeth and says no to new toys every time we go out? Me. Daddy however is the one they see less and he gets more quality/fun time while I'm the one saying no/we need to leave/you need to eat that before you get pudding etc. things are getting better as we leave the toddler years and am I'm convincing their dad they wont have a deprived childhood if they don't have EVERY pawpatrol character.

My DD was a massive daddy's girl at that age. She had to go to hospital for a minor operation and she chose DH to take her instead of me . She's 16yo now and we have a really good relationship.

This is so normal when a new baby comes along, even without long hospital stays etc - I remember crying to my own mum about it, who told me, kindly but firmly, to enjoy it while it lasts as it’s much more tiring to be 2 children’s favourite person! And she was right. Your DD will come around again - and then everyone’s ‘favourite person’ will swap again, it’s pretty natural for young kids to disperse their affections somewhat randomly.

Says more about how you don't have enough emotional maturity to even have one.

Ignore this poster OP. As others have said kids go through cycles of favouring one over the other parent so go with the flow.

Maybe your DH could take the baby out for a walk sometimes leaving you to do colouring, baking, dress up with your daughter so she feels she gets full attention and fussing from time to time.

They all go through phases of this. Make sure Dad regularly takes baby and you have 1:1 time with her but don’t overthink it or take it personally. Next month you’ll be the favourite. Right now my 3YO will only wants to accept help getting dressed from his 6YO sister and asks her for stuff like drinks and stories not us, last month it was me, before Christmas it was Daddy. Standard toddler stuff.

My grandson favoured me over his mum...i understand the sadness from mum etc..but it will change. Kids can be fickle 🤣.

Thank you everyone for your insights and comforting words 🙏

Very wrong

Speaking from experience you should embrace it and encourage it . Both of mine , now adult , love their dad to bits but I am by far the favourite parent , always have been and at times it is exhausting .

My friend who is an only child had a second baby because she did not want her kids to experience the trauma she went through when her parents died and she had to deal with it alone.

There is no right or wrong with having one child, two, or more, but your comment was actually quite offensive. Especially on this thread when someone has a concern relating to their existing children.

It really is normal toddler behaviour. Do you involve DD with ‘helping’ Mummy look after baby brother? Help dry after bathing , shaking his rattles ,toys to entertain.
My daughter used to choose baby brothers clothes,find nappiesetc
Go out with daughter to a park ,soft play just on your own and leave baby at home with Daddy.

And when she goes to nursery and school, the leader/teacher will be the absolute goddes.. no-one else will get a look-in.. all completely normal.
You are doing a great job... both of you!!

As everyone has said, it's perfectly normal and very likely to change. But yes, it hurts!
DD was like this with me and frankly quite horrible to her poor Dad (which she doesn't remember at all now she's older).
What he did was not take it personally and they spent time 1:1 where she was lovely towards him (I just needed to be out of the picture) and this helped their relationship to exist on it's own terms.