I'm going mad - five month old won't stop screaming and crying!

[Sevendayhigher]

Hi everyone,

Our DS is five months old and will not stop screaming at the top of his lungs and crying wherever he's put. It's angry/frustrated screaming and crying, like sharp shrieks that end in wails and tantrums essentially. He flails his arms and kicks his legs. The only time he stops is when he's being held and moved around the room, or stood up by one of us. In the pram he's also fine (but only when we're moving!)

Tummy time is the worst - he instantly cries and shrieks like he's furious with us. He's desperately kicking his legs, flailing and lifting his bottom as if to want to crawl but he WILL NOT BE QUIET 😂It's driving me and DH nuts!!

He is teething quite severely so we're doing everything we possibly can for that (gel, nurofen when very much needed etc), plus he has CMPA (he's on prescription milk which resolved the problem instantly when he was switched to it). But basically it just seems like he's screaming out of frustration/boredom because he does stop when he's shown new things and is distracted. For example, right now as I'm typing, he's in my lap and has thankfully stopped because he's watching me do it. Other ladies in my antenatal group have been surprised by how unsettled he seems and I know what they mean - of course all babies have their moments but I've seen that theirs can play quietly/nicely with something for at least 10 minutes before screaming to be put somewhere else. Our baby honestly lasts 10 seconds before flying into a rage (we've timed it...) I've even worried that it may indicate something about his mental health for the future, as we do have a history of issues in both our families. Obviously we're not jumping to any conclusions.

Can anyone tell me of their experiences of this, including when it stopped for you?? I'm trying to put him on his tummy as much as possible to encourage him to start crawling - I know that has its own world of issues but I just want the screaming to stop haha!

This sounds so tough, has it always been this way or is it new?

It's fairly new although since birth he's grunted and groaned when being moved around - we've wondered if it's his personality coming through and he's just a very dramatic baby!!

Yeah some babies are like that they need constant stimulation, it should hopefully improve over time, keep on trying your best but ultimately it'll turn out it isn't something you're doing wrong as such.
Just make sure you look out for yourself as it can be really stressful, and keep an eye out for autism/ADHD etc (5%+ of boys are thought to be neurodiverse, depending which statistics you look at)

How is his sleep? Sleep was always a huge challenge for us until almost 2 years old, now it's a lot better but still not typical.

My baby was like that, he was a purple crier for about the first year. We even went to an "unsettled baby clinic" who were utterly useless. He just needed constant stimulation all day every day, so I walked for hours a day pushing him in the pram so he could watch things go by.

He mellowed out a lot once he could crawl (around 9-10 months) and even more once he was walking. Being able to go and explore things for himself was the biggest game changer. He's still very intense and switched on, but has a better than average ability to entertain himself which is a blessing.

My second was like this but turns out he had silent reflux and I had no idea. Much happier sitting up in a swing or car seat and lying down on front or back was worst although weirdly he was ok at night.

My daughter was like this. She was in my arms for 23h a day and I was utterly exhausted.

For her it was severe silent reflux and multiple food allergies. We got her to a happy little one with high dose omperazole, gaviscon, domperidone and removing all of her allergens from mine and her diets. We moved to formula at 10 months which needed thickening as the allergy formulas are very thin and trigger reflux in babies that don't have reflux. She is nearly 4 and still requires high dose reflux treatment and we haven't been able to reintroduce any foods but she super happy even when her reflux is flaring up or she is having a reaction after a failed reintroduction.

Teething was also absolutely horrendous for her reflux

Gel is shit for teething. It slides off the gums and makes their tongue numb. Ashton and Parsons powders (not homeopathic alternatives) are the best option, along with anbesol liquid which instantly numbs gums.

It’s really tough I know, DS2 was exactly like this, he was such a miserable, unsettled baby. We tried everything we could think of without any positive outcome, cranial osteopathic treatment, white noise, all did nothing. But he did grow out of it by 7mths. So you are nearly there, although I appreciate how you much be feeling. The saving grace for us was late MIL she was an absolute angel and helped us so much, we were struggling as we also had DS1 to look after who was 21mths. Honestly, accept any help you can get to save your sanity. But I promise it does get easier.

Be careful with some of the teething powders they aren't allowed suitable for babies with cmpa as they have food grade lactose which is a high cross contamination risk with milk proteins.

My son was like this until he sat up. About seven months. Literally like a different little boy once he could sit up and play x

Once he's on the move he's likely to be a lot less frustrated and chill out a bit. If he's got allergies then he's likely to be uncomfortable, and that coupled with his teeth will not do anything for how tolerant he is (and it wouldn't for me either, I'd be pissed!). My first was like it and I just whacked him in the sling and walked for miles each day. Got the baby weight off much faster than with my chilled second baby 😅

Aww your poor little baby. And it's so tough for you too. Just because he's happier when distracted doesn't mean he's not in pain. I'm the same when I'm ill, I'm OK when distracted! Sounds a bit like my baby with CMPA if I accidentally consume dairy.

If babies are flailing their arms about like that it's often pain or something else upsetting them.
Not boredom or 'rage' or anything, boredom is a much more low level whiny cry usually I think.

My son was like this as a baby. Crying so much all the time, stopping breathing mid cry he was so upset! He had reflux and I think it made him quite irritable. He was very high maintenance and anything could set him off.

Fast forward 7 years you'd never know he was such a highly strung baby. He is a lovely happy little boy.

I know it's so hard when you're in the thick of it, but it won't be like this forever ❤️

My eldest was known as the whinger by the time he was 6 weeks old. He hated lying down and screamed. I had 3 kids and not one got ‘tummy time’ . Everyone screamed then lol, so stopped that pdq. Didn’t stop them from crawling by 6 months old, walking at a year. Except one…middle, who shuffled on his bum rather than crawl. He was climbing out of his cot and onto windowsills before he could walk. I carried mine in a sling or a back pack most of the time, so they could see what was happening. If I had to put them down, they were propped in a nest of cushions or on a baby nest so they were not lying flat, but could watch what was going on. Lots of noise making toys or utensils, sets of keys, hitting a pot with a spoon interspersed with getting down on the floor with them to tickle and swing around …play with building blocks till he could sit up on his own. A baby sling suspended in the doorway at 4 months, A babywalker at 6 months …now that really stopped all the crying, being mobile. But being upright was the key to mine, not lying down except at night.

My son was exactly the same. It turned out he had a milk allergy. Being held, rocked, tummy time etc, helped to relieve his belly

Could be worth looking at

Have you seen a cranial osteopath? My daughter was the same and they did some minor adjustments and fixed her.

We had this with our baby. He was AWFUL.

As some other people have mentioned keep an eye on it as he grows up, mine was diagnosed autistic at age 11.
Try not to stress though- mine turned into a bright, funny, clever and ironically a totally placid teenager!!! It’s easier said than done at the time!!

Haven’t read all the replies and I don’t want to be that person. But my eldest son was like this. It started around 5 months. He was constantly screaming, whining and groaning, he was never quiet. It sounds awful but I would sometimes wear headphones because it would drive me insane. He would never sit and play quietly or just look at his surroundings, he hated the pushchair. He just needed constant stimulation. He’s 8 now and has an ADHD diagnosis.

Sounds like he is either in pain and as it is recent and you said he is teething it could be that, or he may be at a stage where he needs more stimulation. Things like bubble tubes, projectors, mats that make noises as he moves like foil mats, mats with different textures, nursery rhymes, musical instruments etc. There are websites that sell some good sensory stuff for babies, I've ordered from Sensory Direct and Out the Box Baby Gifts. I've also got some good stuff from Amazon for good prices.

Mine was like this. It was knackering I'm so sorry. I carried him in a sling for a full year and then did longer and longer stints with him on the floor with distractions. He's almost 2 and can play independently for up to an hour. But yes he is a drama queen.

Mine hated tummy time. She just used to lay face down and scream at the floor in rage. I very quickly decided that tummy time was not going to be a thing for us. It didn't cause any delay in her progression. She was walking at 9 months.
My second didn't get the rage like his sister but he just turned his head and laid there making no attempt to do anything.

My daughter was exactly the same, and as soon as I got to the part of your post about CMPA it all made sense. Of course please only take advice from a medical professional not some stranger on the internet, but maybe consider a lactose intolerance instead/as well. DD was diagnosed CMPA but was actually lactose intolerant. You can get (expensive) drops from boots that remove the lactose if your prescription milk still contains it (some do some don’t) it can take a few weeks for the system to fully flush so don’t expect symptoms to go immediately but it may help.

As soon as DD could roll around and get her self comfortable and get her own farts out she changed almost over night. If DS can’t roll yet try and encourage that as best you can. DD hated tummy time but now sleeps on her tummy as a preference (18 months).

I also worried whether there was something “wrong” with her, it’s normal to be worried and I’m certain DS is just fine, just uncomfortable and grumpy. Good luck Mama!