6 year old shouts of me at bedtime, please help

[Downfownboi]

As above, my 6 year old ds hadn’t never been a great sleeper and at present he goes to bed around 7 and between then and around 45-60 mins he will shout of me for things such as its too dark / too bright/ scared/ need toilet / can’t sort duvet out etc all things. Myself and his father have been separates since he was around 18 months and he’s always slept great at his dads, doesn’t shout out so he’s clearly playing up for me. I’ve tried a sticker reward chart, but then he will still shout of me and when I go up he says “this doesn’t count does it” and looks at me all sad so I just say we shall talk about it the next day. My stepson is same age and he sleeps like a dream and is getting stickers on his chart every night. Also worried my ds will wake up sds with his shouting of me.
also tried to say if he doesn’t shout out so many nights he gets a prize etc still doesn’t work

i really don’t want to start taking stuff off him etc as i don’t feel 100% mental health wise and the thought of him crying etc makes me feel anxious.

is there another way to stop night wakenings?

Sounds like he isn’t ready for bed at 7.

My 6 year old goes to bed 7.30/8 and is usually awake 6/6.30am. which I think might be average but they’ll be kids who need more or less sleep.

could you try an audio book to help settle him ?

Is 7 a bit early? My DD has just turned 7 and whilst in bed at around 7 is allowed to read, colour in etc for a maximum of an hour (no screens though). Maybe get him used to being in his room and being occupied. Hopefully he’ll then be more comfortable being on his own in his room and get more tired and go to sleep more easily. You could check on him every 10 mins so he knows you’re there and that build up his confidence to be by himself and not need you as much.

he will still shout of me and when I go up he says “this doesn’t count does it” and looks at me all sad so I just say we shall talk about it the next day

--- what happens the next day? PP might be right, also think maybe you need to be firmer or more consistent with your rewards/consequences.

Maybe he needs constant reassurance you are still there... Can you tell him you will set your alarm to come check on him in half an hour intervals if he doesn't shout.. Can you potter about upstairs while he gets off to sleep but don't go on his room?
My ds got a 20p under his pillow if he fell asleep without shouting.. Many years ago. Like we could use 20p as a tool these days!!

This is very normal, he is seeking reassurance. Unless I have misunderstood your OP, these are not 'night wakings' they are just taking a little time to sleep?

In your shoes I would tell him he can read in bed and go up when he needs a hug before sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, I forgot to mention he does play with his toys for around 40 mins before he goes to sleep. He has a few on his bed that he plays with quietly. Tonight I may say ilL go up after 30 mins to say night again, but then am I setting a presidence ?

if you have to go up after 30 minutes for another month, year etc does it really matter? It’s not a huge ask. 30 mins is also quite a long time for a child, I would maybe say a shorter time and even set a timer for him.