Mums with babies

[northchesterforest]

Mums with babies:
What's the most important thing about where you live when it comes to raising your baby?

Example: you're round the corner from your Mum, you live near a park, the schools are good

Genuinely interested to know what are you biggest priorities now versus before you started a family

And is there anything you thought you would care about, but actually don't?

I thought it was being closer to family but they aren’t interested in being very involved.

Schools are our main drive and access to green open areas

Probably open spaces because no garden. Love to be closer to family but very sadly that’s not possible. Now he’s a toddler good amenities in the way of soft play, swimming, playgroups.

It was pretty much the same as before. Good transport links, access to open spaces, good local shops and restaurants. I live in London, so luckily all these are close by. It’s only now as we are thinking about schools we are considering whether to move, we will stay in London as we both work here, but may move to an area with better schools.

Is this a research project?

Good schools, both primary and secondary are a must, and ones that you can walk to as parking is always a nightmare. A good community, with community events for children, baby and toddler classes and clubs in the school holidays. Play parks that are only a short walk away, and have fun things in them like trampolines and toddler climbing frames. A shop within walking distance, cafes to meet other mums in when on maternity leave or on non-working days, open space and walking areas within east walking reach.

I don’t live in the best area for raising my baby at the moment. There’s nothing wrong with it but there’s nothing on nearby and I have to travel for any days out or baby classes etc. We will probably move when my son gets a bit older. We do live near my parents which I thought would help but they’ve been absolutely no help whatsoever. They like to visit my son like he’s a zoo exhibit but haven’t offered me any support with him at all, despite the fact that they relied heavily on my grandparents for childcare when my sister and I were young.

Not a research project, just thinking about whether the area we live in will still be for us when we have a baby or whether we should get ahead and move first

Interesting the comments about little help from grandparents, do you feel like they made all the right noises before your child was born but in reality they've not been forthcoming with help?

I've always chosen by an area that will improve my child's day to day life . Access to parks and sports pitches are a lot more important , than being a quick drive to g .parents ,what will that do for their day to day life .
Good access to public transport for good school transport .
Access to good clubs nearby , will they have friends nearby ?

That's interesting re day to day life.. I'm more in this camp of waiting my child to live somewhere that benefits them all round whereas my husband is keen to be near grandparents... I think my mom would be amazing at helping but she could come and stay with us. Husbands parents would be loving but more hands off I think.

I never really expected much from my dad as he barely parented when I was young. My mum knew for a long time that I was planning to have a baby and was excited and always talked about talking him for days out, having him for a few hours to give me a break etc. She even said when he was a newborn she could come over during the day to help after DH went back to work. My son is 10 months old now and this support has just not happened. I haven’t had a break at all since he was born. I don’t really have much of a problem with it as he’s not her child, I just don’t understand why she would bother promising things she had no intention of doing. DH and I have agreed that when we move we won’t bother trying to stay close to family as it hasn’t helped. My advice would be if you’re planning on having a baby, be sure you and your partner can do it all yourselves if you need to and don’t rely on anyone else.

Close to family and having a garden.

Mine has to be our local library, that's probably dependent on how good your local facilities are but ours has been recently renovated and has a huge kids area and loads of groups for babies up to teens. It's also my secret refuge if I get an hour to myself to drink coffee in peace.

Previously I would have said green space which is still high up the list. But with a small child this can feel a little redundant in the long winter months.

Small town by the sea that still has plenty for kids to do. Great outdoor spaces and strong sense of community. Good schools. Family aren't near but not too far away. Everything we need here without going to bigger cities but they are only an hour away when needed.

My parents died when I was pregnant/a few months after baby was born so that was an unexpected twist. My MIL has been unreliable and focused on her daughter's children who are a few months apart from mine.

I like having a garden and outdoor space (we had this beforehand for the dog) and it being a relatively safe area.
It's been handy being in a detached house- no stress about crying baby or shouty toddler upsetting neighbours.
Local amenities are handy: park, library, short drive to swimming pool.

My DC are under school age. We're going to move soon so will look at schools, but it won't be our main focus.
Commute to work will remain high on our list. We don't want to waste time away from kids in the car and want to be close in case of emergencies (... No family support)

The reality is your parents are likely a little sick of you now , so no I wouldn't take into account parents nearabilty to us . Your husband must see the two of you capable of coping together to bring up the children together, without relying on two people who have likely moved on and have other things in their lives . You really need to rely on each other and not on other people . That way you know where you stand and shan't be disappointed .

We moved to our current house specifically because it was 5 min walk from the school we wanted our dcs to attend, and it's also within walking distance of work so wr have a short snd easy commute. We chose the general area because it has great amenities, excellent transport connections and it's an interesting and diverse area.

Day to day we spend a lot of time ferrying to activities, though some of those are a journey away as they are better quality. We tend to travel a lot to access activities and events, we don't just stick to things within walking distance. So having a tube station with good connections has been more useful than having things on our doorstep. Proximity to family and green spaces isn't very relevant to us at all.

Being close to parents and siblings.

We didn't want to ever have to pay for childcare! 😂

Schools are my main one, as the catchment areas where I live are really small.

Family close by, we're all really close.

Having supermarkets and convienice shops near by is always handy.

Close to family mattered most to me. My parents did our childcare when we were working (pre-Covid, both wfh now and kids are now older so don't need childcare) The memories they made with my parents are something more valuable than anything else. One of my parents passed away earlier this year and I feel so lucky that my children have so many clear and wonderful memories of their time together over the years. We are also in an area that's excellent for schools, lots of green countryside around us and close to the city for days out. Also affordable is important so you aren't worrying about keeping a roof over their heads and mouths fed when rates go up over the years.

Amenities in the baby stage. DS HATED his car seat and driving anywhere was a nightmare. Living somewhere with places to walk to made all the difference to my sanity as it was just the buggy required and not the car trauma.

Now it is also schools for us. If you can get both then I would.

That's a good point about the amenities, my first child was exactly the same!