I’m finding today so hard

[tiredmama170]

My DD will not go in her cot. I’m exhausted. I’ve been at work all day and I owe over an hour of time to work. I’m full time and DH is full time as we are struggling with money as it is. She’s screaming because she doesn’t want to go in her cot, I’ve taken a minute but will go back in to reassure her. Our home is an absolute pit and needs a tidy. I need peace and quiet and I don’t get it. DH is trying to make us some food. Im so bloody tired. I need her to go to sleep so I can just sit on the sofa and unwind. I’m so shattered. I want to cry. She’s nearly two. This is so hard. My life is work and looking after a child and barely any rest. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful as I love being a mum. I just need a break and there’s no break from the noise, work, everything. I feel useless and I feel ashamed.

You’re not alone or wrong to feel this way OP. Everyone has rough days. Take your time, DD is perfectly safe in her crib.

That sounds so hard @tiredmama170. You're not useless and you don't need to feel ashamed. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job which is bloody difficult. I get it.

Has she always slept in the cot? Is this a recent thing with her not wanting to go in it?

Do you think she's playing up because she wants to be with you because she misses you when you're at work?

I don't say this lightly: is co-sleeping an option?

Hi Op,

okay go and sit down on your own in a quiet room. Think about a plan to get through tonight. Is it the end of the world if she sleeps in bed with you just for tonight? Or if you keep her on the sofa with you and just relax until she falls asleep? You are exhausted, take a break from needing to be a perfect parent and do what’s needed now. Sending hugs x

I don't have anything useful to add, but just want to say you're not alone, I totally understand and have been there many times. Hope you can get some food and rest, don't worry about the mess today x

They will sense on your stress as well, take deep breath. Would she sleep in your bed until you put her back in her cot at least until you get things sorted?

Ohh it sounds like a really hard day OP. Is this unusual for her? Because if it is she's at the age for molars coming through. It could be something like that and hopefully temporary/possible to be soothed. If you need a mental break could you take over the cooking and DH go and give her a cuddle and get her settled? Cooking isn't fun I know but can help you get yourself together and feel a little calmer than dealing with an upset child. I know it's really hard but she's so little still and this too will pass.

As a longer term thought, a lot of toddlers that age struggle with cots and do better with a floor bed so parent can settle them in it a little better with a cuddle and a kiss, but I get that's not solve if any problems today!

Will she fall asleep on you? Mine would only fall asleep on me until about 2.5.

I had many days like that, I totally get it. It's shit. Can you and DH trade a couple of hours off each this weekend?

i ended up letting her sleep on our bed, she went to sleep straight away as soon as I cuddled her on our bed. She won’t settle with DH so it’s down to me a lot and she’s got more clingy to me recently. I’m normally okay but tonight I’ve just found things harder than usual. She normally goes in her cot but she won’t atm so bedtime has become a battle. She is very strong willed at bedtime so if she doesn’t want to go in the cot she will scream and scream. I don’t mind her being in the bed but it means me or DH has to sleep on the couch which isn’t ideal. Sometimes it’s just really hard.

It is really hard but well done to you for giving your daughter what she needed x

Can he get in the cot?

I say that to hopefully make you smile :)

Well done for getting her to sleep hopefully you have a bit of time before bed.

If she is 2 can you take one side of the cot off? So she thinks she is in a grown up bed.
Or even her mattress on the bottom of your bed in your room?

Dummy? I had one that just wouldn't sleep without it.

Have you thought about a light projector I had one that wouldn't sleep without it

Also, is teeth coming through? Is it pain

Hopefully you can get some quick dinners in - pizza / beans on toast / stir fries / noodles when days are harder.

Good luck

Sorry you've had such a rough day, it's so hard when they won't get to sleep!
At this age we moved ours to a single bed on the floor because the cot wasn't working anymore.
Now we just lie in the bed with him to read stories and go to sleep and leave him after he's dozed off. Much quicker and less painful! Might be something to consider? We baby proofed his room although to be honest he rarely climbs out of the bed.

I think she is getting a little old for a cot anyway so changing that might help. Sorry you had such a tough day.

Sorry you had a tough day.

Focus only on immediately necessary things. Housework be damned - so what if the house is a pit? Your DD won't care. Prioritise basic hygiene and sod the rest.

You sound like you need a break, so have one. Your needs are important.

It's fine to cuddle your little one to sleep. I've not bothered with independent sleep at all until older than that. Got two brilliant sleepers at 7 and 3 and a baby who miraculously only wakes when hungry. Admittedly also one 3yo who still wakes up once most nights as he struggled with eczema. My point is cuddling your2yo to sleep when she needs it is not going to cause you long term issues.

We always have a spare bad set up if possible for DHrather than the sofa.DD loved the fact it as in her room when whenwas 4!