Bad parenting moment, feel guilty

[Pleasehelpimexhausted]

My oldest is 5 and my youngest is 12 months.

Since the youngest was born the oldest has been an absolute nightmare around him. Laughing and shrieking in his face constantly (and I mean CONSTANTLY), snatching his toys (mainly to show him how they work but he ends up in tears), being too rough with him in general, and basically never giving him a moment’s peace. I’ve tried everything to get her to calm down and give him space and nothing works, my nerves are shredded from having to micro manage their play and constantly intervene.

We bathe them together and just as DP was lifting DS out of the bath this evening, DD picked up a cup of water and threw it in DS’s face. I saw red, grabbed the cup and threw water back in her face saying ‘let’s see how you like it!’. She burst into tears and now I feel awful 😞

Ah OP. Was it stellar parenting? No, but you know that.

When things are calmer, maybe give them a cuddle and apologise. That's it, all done.

Tomorrow is a new day. None of us are perfect.

Oh dear it sounds so stressful. I had issues like this and I can recommend the book Siblings without Rivalry. It is the sequel to How to listen etc etc. Helped me deal with it all in a much calmer and more empathetic way and stopped the negative behaviour from the older one .

I've had that moment today. I took DS to a play group and just wanted to talk to my friend as it is quite literally the only hour I get to speak to an adult all week (wfh, don't have many friends) and DS was constantly on at me to play despite every other kid there playing happily and there being a ton of craft and toys. And I'd played with him for an hour and half before we left the house.
Anyway not to derail but when we got into car to leave I got really cross and asked why he couldn't just go and play and let me talk to my friend.
No I feel fucking awful and like the worse parent on the world and have cried for an hour at home. Not my finest day. It happens to us all OP. The constant rain, mental load, stressful job and DS who doesn't sleep well and wants entertainment have worn me down

Ok so not your finest hour. Your children need to learn you are human. Time to model a nice apology and then move on, exactly as you would want them to if they did something wrong. No Need To Dwell on it.

The behaviour does sound challenging. Do you think she is jealous or just overexcited?

We've all had these moments OP. Don't beat yourself up. Apologise to DD and try to explain in an age appropriate way. You'll have many more moments like this before the kids are grown. Give yourself a break please