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Parenting

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i know my girl is different with others, but i don't understant what inside her

4 replies

kamanmama · 29/04/2024 11:26

I know that my girl is some kind different to other same age kids, someone told me she is one of SEN kids, just only not obvious, or just say very minor. You can’t discover that in school, she is very normal, unless someone deal with her in long time
She is 10, love reading, can be very focus on studying or reading for long time. No specific interesting topic, like some SEN kids love vehicle, animal, she never has one topic she really interested in and spend time on it.
She has a lot of friends in the past, she spent a lot of time in playground and played hide and seek with her friends every day. after move house or maybe she grow up, the girl around her is just spending all the time in chatting and gossip. She can’t join any of the girl group, she found that she can’t think anything to talk with others. If you her to join play hide and seek, that’s absolutely fine, but that’s not other girl’s like this game anymore
At this time, I still think she just don’t know how to make friends, not really a problem
Recently, I have a few experience with her, make me feel that she Is different.
We used to played board game in our weekend. My hubby, me, my son (8) and my daughter (10). We tried many games, it always end with angry. For example, we played monopoly, indeed she was the winner, but that’s doesn’t matter she is the winner or not, between the game, suddenly she cried or just loose her temper, because me or my hubby get penalty by step to someone property. She know this is a game, she just felt mum / dad is very poor to get fine.
Another example here, we played another game, like snake and ladder with two other cousins, girls are all very excited, shouting 6, 6, 6 when they throw dice. Finally the girl got 6. She was so happy and shouted. My daughter just ran away and said they are too loud. She don’t understand why girls shouted. I explained to her they are having fun, they are excited for the game. She really can’t understand. I feel so angry. She is 10. I can’t see the point she don’t understand. I told her even you don’t understand other people feeling, you still need to sit down and stay in the game until it is finish. You can’t just ran away, she cried and didn’t want to talk. I keep talked to her for an hour, she finally told me, she me hot, heart break speedup, she need to leave. This means she is not only emotional, but also make her feel physically, she need to leave
Besides that, she is absolutely normal, just a normal girl, sometimes quiet, she love swimming, tennis as well. The things is she can’t understand what is other feeling, but sometimes, she understand too much, like the monopoly game, she can’t play, because she think someone is too poor when someone get fine. She can’t stop crying. What kind of SEN it should be?
I don’t know what to say. My hubby that just don’t let her play game, that’s it. No big deal. That should that be a 10 year old girl like. I think that’s not only game, it make her hard to make friends, she always don’t understand what the other laughing for, what is the fun.
Sorry for my long story. Hope I can make it clear. I feel very collapse and angry when I deal with her.

OP posts:
RealLemonEagle · 29/04/2024 11:55

Maybe it's time to have an open and honest conversation with her to gain a deeper understanding of what makes her tick. Communication is key in any relationship

Singleandproud · 29/04/2024 12:06

In terms of specific diagnosis autism is a social and communication condition and can impact building of relationships and understanding what others mean in social situations and is what people are probably getting at when they mention additional needs.

However, this is not necessarily the case,you can talk to school about being worried about her social skills and they maybe able to put her on and ELSA course.

Alternatively getting her time to develop her social skills at girl guides or scouts might also be worthwhile which are more social and recreation based than some other activities.

kamanmama · 30/04/2024 10:24

thanks. will try to speak with school, see what can they do. My daughter already join scout for 2 years, it is good for her to know more people, she still very quiet, need more time

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CadyEastman · 30/04/2024 11:13

Definitely talk to the school to see if they have any concerns and if anyone can help with an ELSA course as recommended above.

I'd also see if they do anything like Zones of Regulation.

If she's struggling with noise, do you think she'd try something like Loop?

And if she's finding everything overwhelming, I think it's ok to let her go to her room in her own and get some quiet time. She probably needs to do this to regulate.

As a PP said ASD is a social & communication condition that could present in a similar way to the way your DD is behaving.

Nobody on here can tell you if she has any SEN or if she has, what that might be. I would ask her Class Teacher if she suspects that your DD might have ASD and if their SENCO can refer her.

I'd also have a look in the SN Children section. There's some very kind and knowledgeable MNers in there who can talk you through getting your DD assessed and applying for an ECHP.

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