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Parenting

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Coparenting PLEASE ADVISE

5 replies

Girlmummaxx · 28/04/2024 22:10

I have a 5 month old baby girl who I coparent with. The original arrangement was her dad was staying here every other weekend and visiting due the week for a few hours.
On the weekends he’d see her he’d take her for a few hours a time to visit family / friends
The relationship between us has officially taken its toll on me and I asked if he could look into making suitable arrangements to start having our daughter.
I offered him to trial overnight the weekend just gone and he declined and said he didn’t have the right set up for her. I was already anxious about 1 being away from my baby whilst she’s still little and 2 he lives in shared accommodation but told me it was only him there and an older couple and it was a safe environment for her. I’m desperate for a little down time as well as him being able to have his own time with our daughter however today I dropped off some stuff he had left at mine for my daughter, he wasn’t in and 2 young blokes answered the door topless. The house stunk of stale cigarettes and weed and it’s just made me see red

our daughter has suffered with respiratory problems since the age of 3 weeks old, she ended up with being taken in on blue lights and in a baby’s ward tubed up to oxygen, peg feeding and was severely ill which took ages for her to recover, I’m so upset and angry that the person who makes out he would never put our daughter in any unsafe situations has not only lied but put her at risk.

i really don’t know how to do contact moving forward and what’s reasonable but I physically can’t send my daughter to a shared accommodation with random men that smoke / weed within the property, I’m emotionally drained

OP posts:
Problemnumber99 · 28/04/2024 22:25

I wouldn't be happy with that either. To me shared accommodation isn't appropriate for many reasons.

Could he stay at yours and you stay somewhere else? Or does he have family he could stay with at the weekend? Or even a hotel?

Girlmummaxx · 28/04/2024 23:24

Problemnumber99 · 28/04/2024 22:25

I wouldn't be happy with that either. To me shared accommodation isn't appropriate for many reasons.

Could he stay at yours and you stay somewhere else? Or does he have family he could stay with at the weekend? Or even a hotel?

When I stated I don’t think shared accommodation is appropriate for children let alone babies he just said the courts would approve it and I had 0 stay

I did infact mention him staying at my place with her and I’d stay with family members, that way she had her normal set up & he still got her time with just him and her and he just said ‘I don’t know what to do’
He doesn’t have family that would accommodate him every other weekend unfortunately.

I really have struggled to get him to see the bigger picture & I think he just feels I’m out to get him

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/04/2024 07:45

Make a note in writing of eve ru thing you saw at that accom.
He doesn't need to be in your home or his own home. My ex takes my baby out to soft play, local library, children's centre etc. safe environments for the baby and means I don't have to have him in my home.

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Problemnumber99 · 29/04/2024 07:48

In my experience the courts wouldn't allow him to have her there! They have to ensure she is safe and cafcass would take a dim view of it I promise you.

Why do men think they'll just get what they want in court 🙄

I've had my dd every night for 2.5 years for the same reason. And been through courts!

Problemnumber99 · 29/04/2024 07:50

Like @Unexpectedlysinglemum said, document and keep absolutely everything.

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