I'm paranoid my baby isn't getting enough milk

[Hungus93]

I'm paranoid my baby isn't getting enough

First time mum to a lovely 5 week old baby. I was an anxious person to begin with but since I became a mum, it's a whole different level.

I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. I have huge boobs, large nipples and latching correctly has been a struggle and still sometimes is. I've wanted and still want to quit at least few times a week because it's quite a hard journey. The feeds aren't painful but are usually quite long. But the main reason is that I'm so worried my baby isn't getting enough milk.

She seems to be gaining weight well, and has plenty of poopy and wet diapers, but I just... Don't know. She sleeps so much and doesn't have many long awake windows, usually one in the morning, and one in the evening - for the past few days during the evening one she pretty much wants to feed constantly, and "screams" at my boob, latches, then unlatches etc. Yesterday after hours I gave up and gave her a bottle of formula and she settled straight away after having about 2oz. Also it looks like her lower lip is a bit dry?

I saw a lactation consultant twice, a cranial oestopath, went to a breastfeeding cafe and La Leche Leauge, tried nipple shields, different techniques etc. The lactation consultant said she was feeding fine, although she does have a lip tie and a very slight tongue tie. She said that the tongue tie is so borderline she wouldn't do anything about it but maybe I should get a second opinion? She seems to be able to stick her tongue out quite a bit and move it around so I don't really want to have a procedure done when it's not necessary. I also happened to see a pediatrician and she said she looked absolutely fine.

But I am so worried. I've been posting on reddit like crazy lately because I'm so anxious and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Hence few questions:

• can baby be gaining weight and have multiple dirty/poopy nappies if she's not getting enough?
• is it normal for a 5 week old baby to be this sleepy and pretty much wake up only for feeds and nappy change for majority of the day?
• could the evening fussiness at breast be caused by witching hour/growth spurt?
• would a hungry baby be able to settle well? She still wakes up for feeds regularly but I'm so worried she's this sleepy because she's not getting enough food.

Any advice welcome.

What you are describing is TOTALLY normal for a breast fed baby.

All four of mine have followed exactly the pattern you describe. If they weren't getting enough, you would get very few dirty nappies and their urine would be a little bit pink in hue. They would also be unsettled and wanting to feed all the time.

Cluster feeding in the evening is totally normal. It will pass. My eldest did it till 6 weeks, my boys till 8 weeks (adjusted, they were premature) and my youngest till 7 weeks. It's a real pain, but it passes.

Very long feeds usually mean baby is indulging in some "non-nutritive sucking" I.e. sucking for comfort rather than milk. That's totally ok and to be expected expected fair amount in the first few months. They do less of that when they are old enough to enjoy the world around them.

Honestly, my eldest just slept and fed for nearly 3 months. Some babies are just like that.

I had the same worries as you op 20 years ago with dc1. I spoke to the HV and she gave me some advice which I thought was crazy but really did reassure me.

Over the course of a couple of days (more if poss), weigh all the nappies. Then divide the whole weight by the number of days, and that is what they're losing AFTER they've processed the best bits into growth and just being alive.

I worked out that my DC was actually getting rid of more oz per day in their nappy than the formula boxes recommended as intake. And he was growing on the right centile.

You can't measure volume of breast milk at source, my DC were both expert feeders and were done in max 10 mins each time, which is why I was worried about the volume.

If DC is growing well you really don't need to worry.

And if you're having doubts about bf it really is fine to be thinking about switching, you both need to be happy with it.

I know it's harm but please be assured, it sounds like your baby is doing AMAZING. Honestly, sounds like a mostly very content baby. You're both so new to breastfeeding and it's really a struggle to begin with but it all sounds very normal to me. If your baby was hungry, she wouldn't be sleeping, she'd be letting you know, trust me! Witching hour is horrible but very normal at this time and then very suddenly somewhere around 14 weeks you suddenly realise the last few evening have been really calm and you're through it. And if she's growing and peeing and pooping please trust me when I say there's no other hidden indicator that she won't be getting all the milk she needs.

Well done you, this is the hardest part and you're doing so well.

P.s. keep tabs on that "paranoia", please. Make sure it's in check. For me, it developed into post partum anxiety. It sounds at the moment very much a normal part of the huge hormonal change that your body is still experiencing but please just check in with yourself and make sure it's not developing into anything else. The health visitors can really help with this too.

Well done again and good luck!

Like PPs have said, this sounds very normal. If he's gaining weight and having lots of wet/dirty nappies then he sounds like he's doing fine.

If your baby is gaining weight well and had plenty of wet and poopy nappies she’s getting enough milk. All sounds normal.

The fact you are worrying about this says to me you are going to be an amazing Mum!! It's completely normal to worry but relax you are doing fine! X

Your baby sounds absolutely normal! I had one bottle fed and 3 breast fed and they all match your bullet points.

Slept all the time and rarely awake until 6.5 to 7.5 weeks and baby babies were 42 weeks.

Fussy in the evening..

My DS was sleepy ALL the time till about two months! Then boy did he wake up…

Completely normal. Sounds like she is cluster feeding. It’s a classic thing from about 6 in the evening until 12 to just feed so you up your supply for what she will need as she grows bigger.

Hi, my baby is 5 weeks too and doing pretty much the same. I echo other posters, it all sounds Normal and I'm getting the same witching hour feeding/fussiness at the moment too!

That sounds completely normal to me and I've had 3 babies. If you are still worried too up with a little formula that is also fine

Look at it the other way, a baby certainly lets you know if they are hungry!
Yours sounds very content 😊

Lots of sleep is normal in the fourth trimester.
Give Lucy Webber a follow on social media.

Ask your HV for extra weigh ins for reassurance. Mum guilt and health anxiety are draining - keep asking questions, we're all here to share experiences.

Completely normal in every way and sounds like you are doing a great job.

Please try and relax. It's going great.

I had had this worry too.

In answer to your questions

1. no
2. yes
3. it's caused by being a 5 week old baby.
4. no

How long is she awake for /sleeping for each day? It's remarkable how little time awake they can manage, there's barely time to feed and change and cuddle them

Congrats on getting so far.

After serious latch issues/tongue tie i was always worried when my baby fussed at the breast - I thought it was low supply. It could just as easily be a quick letdown, wind/needing to burp/being tired/being in an uncomfortable position/trying to poo.

(And the baby I worried about is now a chubby little chunk. Feeding support midwives did tell me just to keep monitoring wet and dirty Nappies, and make sure he was feeding >= 8 times in 24 hours.)

It all sounds totally normal. A lot of women have this paranoia but honestly you'd know if she wasn't getting enough. She would be losing too much weight. The fussiness is totally normal as they are programmed to do that to increase your milk supply.

Lots of wet and dirty nappies means she must be getting plenty of milk.

Babies sleep because they are babies they are doing a crazy amount of developing still, really they should still be in utero for another 6 months but it's the price we pay for being bipeds.

Babies sleep longer on formula because it's artificial and takes longer to digest

Babies put in their 'order' for three days tim, so feeding lots is great there may not be loads coming out but that's because it works on supply and demand and takes three days or so for the 'order' to be fulfilled, she's likely to have a growth or development spurt shortly after.

Oh dear OP, this sounds tough, you have my sympathy. Babies they age cluster feed, she’s trying to up your supply for a growth spurt. It doesn’t mean she’s not getting enough milk as such, just that she’s putting in a big order for the upcoming days. Try to resist the temptation to give formula (unless you don’t want to BF any more) - trust in the process. If she’s gaining weight, she’s getting enough milk.

Oh I remember this well. Our DS was a smaller than average weight. He was on the 2nd centile and he kept a perfect curve on the weight chart. I kept panicking, saying he was still small, they kept explaining- no he was born his perfect weight and is following that line perfectly, a lovely curve.

I worried so much as I breastfed, but if I could give myself back then advice, it would be to try and relax and enjoy this time. If baby is following their natural curve of weight then don't worry. There is no harm in asking questions as you go, but please try not to worry too much if the baby is giving wet, soiled nappies.

Thank you all ever so much for replying, and for your reassurances, it made me feel a whole lot better. Mumsnet is honestly a priceless resource for a first time mum ❤️

Don't forget that whilst feeds seem really long that is for a dual purpose, it forces the mother to stop, sit down and recover, growing a baby, giving birth and then sustaining it with your body is a big deal you have to rest too. Once baby is bigger they become way more efficient and feeds are much quicker.

Mum's that bottle feeding get to share the load of feeding and get on with other jobs but that is robbing them of the time to rest which they need too.