Toddler won’t let go in pool

[CuriousMummyy]

I’m going to come right out and say it (because it’s been said to me)… is my 2 and a half year old a wuss for not letting go of me or a trusted adult in a swimming pool?? We’re holidaying at the moment and she doesn’t get much pool exposure back home. She does occasionally, so it’s not a complete shock to her system, but nothing regular.

She’s not the most brave when it comes to trying new things. Sometimes she does, usually she doesn’t. She doesn’t go on swings. Only recently has started to go on slides (if she’s in the mood).

She’s that kid that you’ll see playing with a toy kitchen and its bits and bobs rather than a kid that’s running around and climbing on things (again, she’ll do this if she’s in the mood or if she’s in her comfort zone at home and wants to play, etc)

I’ve also given her quite a bit of independence. So, have I ruined my child? Is it that bad she won’t go in the pool alone with her arm bands on? And doesn’t go on even the baby water slides like all the other kids?

Ach she’s only 2. Mine was still uncertain in the pool and clung to us until he was 4, though he had a slower start with swimming due to Covid and hasn’t ever had swimming lessons cos they’re like hens teeth here. She’ll get there!

She's two. She doesn't have to like water at two.

A child who can't swim should always be with an adult in the pool at arms length at most ... I don't quite understand.

She's not a wuss, she's just frightened. You've said it yourself that swimming is pretty unfamiliar to her and it can be quite a scary new experience. Take her more often at home if you want her to gain confidence but there's plenty of time. DD screamed blue murder going in the pool as a young toddler but with weekly pool time she was swimming confidently without floats at 3.

Tbf you've said yourself that she doesn't regularly go in a swimming pool. Give her time, she will build up the confidence.

Both of mine took a while to let go of me in the swimming pool once we started taking them regularly. Then they both started swimming lessons at age 4 and are very confident in the pool now,.

FWIW my 8YO DD is exactly the same with being scared of everything and needing to slowly build up the confidence to try new things. We have always just let her go at her own pace with plenty of encouragement and reassurance and she has overcome a lot of her fears. 6YO DS is a little daredevil and we have to actively stop him from getting into dangerous situations on a regular basis 🤣

These things are usually a question of personality rather than parenting.

You go in with her and let her get used to it in her own time. She’ll get there eventually - particularly if she has more exposure to pools at home. She’s still only tiny.

She's a baby still. Your expecting far too much of her

Wow I can't believe someone told you your 2 year old is a wuss, that is horrible.

Some kids are more confident/cautious than others, whether that be from nature or nurture or most likely a bit of both.

The lack of exposure won't have helped, but she's 2, she has a whole lifetime ahead of her to get comfortable with water.

And being cautious around water is no bad thing. But if you can afford it then look at swimming lessons. At this age they're focused on building confidence and survival skills. If you can't afford lessons, there is plenty of info on Instagram/YouTube about teaching life saving techniques to toddlers.

If she can’t touch the bottom and isn’t used to swimming then it’s unsurprising she won’t let go. She doesn’t understand that she will float! She’s not letting go in the same way she wouldn’t just let go if you were holding her out to the water and went to let go in mid air. She thinks she will sink/ fall.

The best way I have found to encourage children who are scared to let go of an adult to venture into the water is to take them into a pool where it’s shallow enough for them to stand up and then the person holding them kneels/ sits in the water and lets the child’s feet find the floor. Once they realise they can touch the floor the child usually becomes confident enough to let go of the parent. From there you can start to build up the confidence to move in deeper water.

Of course she’s not a wuss! My 4.5 year old still won’t go on the tiny baby slide at our local pool which my 2 year old loves. I just tell her when she’s ready, she can go on it.

Also please be extremely cautious with/don't use armbands. They give false sense of security and can be deadly.

Two of my siblings had near drowning incidents as toddlers while wearing armbands/rubber rings. I would never use them with my own child.

If they can't swim unaided, they shouldn't be out of reach while in water.

@CuriousMummyy - I would not worry one jot. Keep going with the armbands and as others have said if you can where she can touch the floor. Otherwise swimming lessons ( which I do think is something of a life skill ) but I'll bet you if she has other opportunities she will eventually learn to swim.
I would not sorry about her being a wuss.

She's not a wuss, she's two! Keep her in her depth, build confidence and start lessons

My child is the bouncing up the walls type and I wish he was playing with his play kitchen!!!
Your job is just to love her exactly as she is.

Hold her until she's ready to let go. Then she will be confident and not fearful.

Another one to say she’s only 2 so give her some time! My DS was the same, didn’t want to let go until he got to about 4/4.5 and realised he could stand up and have his head above the water even at the deep end of the teaching pool. DD on the other hand was utterly fearless and would tell me off for holding on to her during her toddler swimming lessons (she did have a pool noodle under her to support her, just in case anyone’s worried I was leaving her to go under the water!). Both are now good swimmers.

“Is it that bad she won’t go in the pool alone with her arm bands on?”

you seriously want a 2 year old non swimmer to go in the pool alone? You know this is not safe even with armbands on.
calling a small child a wuss is frankly nasty and mean. Children are different and just like adults have different personalities. Not all adults like fast rollercoaster either. Give her time and be patient!

Frankly, take her to toddler swimming lessons if you want her to be more confident in the water.

All kids need time in the water - being held in the water in the correct swimming position and moved along, holding onto the side and kicking - to understand being in the water. If she hasn't had this, arm bands can kind-of make things worse: if she doesn't understand the basics of using legs to stay afloat, they put kids in quite an unnatural position in the water with restricted arm movement holding all their weight on their upper arms whilst their legs hang like a dead weight. If her back/shoulders/core aren't strong, it can mean you're kind of sinking trying to keep your head above your arms. It may be worth looking at other options which will give her trunk some floative support in the water, like the floaty swimsuits, but none of these devices should be used as a substitute for you being in the pool with her in arms length supervision. She shouldn't be in any pool on her own until she can swim 25cm confidently without any floatation device - you have years of needing to get in the pool with her and have her in arms length yet.