Dining out with small children.... Impossible?

[mercutio84]

Hello... Just wondering how everyone else coped with dining out with small children? Have got two - 18m old little boy and 5yo boy. 5 year old is absolutely fine to eat out (has always been happy to sit in restaurants and scribble etc) and is just at that age now where he entertains himself and chats etc but the 18m old little boy is textbook toddler. Just asking as we are away for few days and have meals out planned. Any tips for keeping little ones happy? He's a bit too young to find phones entertaining (throws them), he will do some mark making for about 5 mins then has had enough, and just wants out of high chair the whole time. I suspect it's a case of each of us taking turns to take him off for a wander and swap etc but any tips welcome!

Does he still nap? When we were on holidays with a toddler we sometimes tried to time a nice lunch with a nap in the buggy (toddler wokld
od course get fed before or after!).

Otherwise yes, taking turns going for walks.

and books - we got quite a bit of mileage out of books at the table but it’s Labour intensive and not conducive to adult chatting of course

We use books and small toys. My DD is 22m and is pretty good at sitting in a high chair for a reasonable period (not long leisurely lunches, but long enough to eat a meal). She likes food so that keeps her busy, we always order something she can eat independently, but it takes time and effort to keep her focused (no opportunity for adult chat). Sometimes we bring our own plastic plates and small cutlery (to stop her throwing the restaurant's plates).

Honestly it’s not impossible. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old - hate to sound like I’m bragging but I get a lot of compliments for how my children behave in public, especially in restaurants- it’s very easy to say they are just good kids, but I’ll be honest we practise a lot at home!! We practise sitting nicely, listening to each other, we stay at the table to everyone has finished… DD2 has never asked to get down until everyone has finished because it’s not the norm for us.

DD5 is easy, but with DD2 - she had a busy book, especially loves a whiteboard and a pen, but you have to play with her, instead of leaving her to it, which will entertain her for 3 minutes, we ask her can she draw this… or can she draw that… we have a go at drawing with her too, guess what she’s drawing. The more engaged you are, the more they will be.

On holiday, on the evenings it’s quite common for one of us will take them off for a play by the beach or a nearby playground while they wait for dinner to be ready. That’s always the longest wait, once food is here, we try and keep a conversation going to keep them eating… “my pasta is really long and slippery… what shape yours?” Swimming was my favourite today, what was your favourite. Toddlers love to be included in conversations. I order things that she can just eat independently and will probably make a shit to of mess, aka… spag Bol, but it’s something she’ll eat by herself and we can all eat at the same time.

I’m one of those terrible mums who would happily stick a tablet or phone in front of my 18 month old. Find YouTube channels they like and you won’t hear a peep. For us it was the unwrapping kinder eggs and toys and play dough ones at that age.

Also lots of pens/crayons, try wipe clean travel cards he won’t be old enough to do them but scribbling and it magically disappearing to make more scribbles is fun. My older DDs would do the card and I’d hand a baby wipe and cards to my youngest in the high chair and she’d have fun cleaning them. Favourite toy atm, magnetic drawing boards, or the new tablet ones. Games, you can make up games for the 5yo to play and pretend the baby is playing too. Maybe snap so the baby thinks he’s involved.

im also one of those mums whose kids look unkept because I let them dress themselves. Case in point tonight my 6yo went to spring bingo in Christmas leggings 2 sizes too small and her pj top. So letting them tip food on their heads to keep them occupied at the table was just many of the things I let them do to keep quiet and in their seats. ( I am also one who cleans my DCs mess up before anyone starts) One of my favourite photos of one of my DDs she was about 13 months old and spent a good 15 mins putting French fries in between her toes, she was very proud of her little self. We all quietly observed as she concentrated doing it.

Books, you don’t have to read them but make a game out of finding a bird, or cat etc…

Meals in cafes and cafes at child centric museums to learn how to behave

A mix of the pubs with soft plays attached so could eat meal then be excused to have a gallop while adults lingered and chatted and a bag of activity things to do/play with in other places, colouring books, mini farm, books and quite a few preparatory chats about what 'restaurant behaviour' looked like.

(I remember when about 4 we were going out to a restaurant for my Dad's birthday and I was asked if there was a soft play, and started to say that this was the restaurant that grandad had chosen his favourite restaurant and not everywhere has soft plays, but we would take things to do, assuming that lack of soft play would be a disappointment, to be told was just asking so could choose what was suitable to wear!!)

At 18 months it was awful with both my kids. One of us would end up outside with the oldest screaming! At 2 the oldest could sit nicely and colour or chat. It's taking the younger one a bit longer!

Loads of cheap sticker books from the Works / Home Bargains worked for us. You haven't got too long before you can do little games with them, Orchard Toys do travel ones which are pretty simple (matching pairs, etc).

I think what happens at home is important. It's not a guarantee they'll sit and not be disruptive but if you all sit at the table together, do activities, chat etc then they'll be used to that.

My friend would always complain how her kids won't sit in cafes but at home they eat separately and it's a bit of a free for all with the telly on and kids wandering around. It's a bit much to expect things to be any different when out with lots of people and distractions.

I do think you need to go out for meals with kids or they'll never learn but I also hate having my meal ruined by loud phones, shouting and pissing around!

I agree. My DS is 3 and has always behaved really well when we go for meals out. We make sure we sit and eat together at home. Wouldn't let him scream and run wild at meal times. Plus he sits down properly at the childminders for meals too.

I had 3 aged 3 and under.
We went out for meals immediately and then holidays from when youngest was 3 months ish.
We absolutely do not let them sit there with an I pad.
We have a "restaurant bag" full of things to keep them entertained; colouring, plain paper, fun pens, dobble game, small cars and toys, stickers, kids snap cards.

18 months must be the hardest age for this. Even by two they're more able to focus on drawing/stickers/an iPad etc.

Going somewhere child friendly where they'll bring the food quickly is good. A bag of small bits for them to look at is good (stickers, drawing board, car, book with flaps, fiddle toy etc). Make sure they're getting a big run around beforehand.

18 months is the hardest age for doing things like eating out. Struggled through these things with first 2 kids. With DC 3 from the age of 18 months to two and a half I did nothing. No meals out no holidays. Bloody great. Avoided wasting money and stress. She is nearly 3 now and normal life has resumed!

Agree on learned behaviour. We never ate meals together when DCs were little and for a long time had no room for a dining table, but we did make sure the DCs ate at a table. We used the small children’s tables. We might not have ate with them but we did sit them down and they got use to eating meals at a table. I quite miss those days of little people sitting round little tables x.

Thankfully we never had problems eating out, but they were use to eating out from young ages too.

We would always have a restaurant bag ready - books, pens, paper, magic painting book and most importantly, lots of little figures/animals. We also took our kids out to eat from a very early age so it was normal. They are now 8 and 11 and they now automatically grab a book/ notepad and pens before we head out to eat. No iPads allowed.

My top trick is to order a meal for the child literally as you sit down and ask them to bring it as soon as possible. Once my daughter has food she's absolutely fine, but a long wake will undo her. I also take a few snacks in case it takes a while.

Then I have things to keep her entertained. A spinning fidget spinner thing that sticks to the tray. A busy book. A drawing tablet thing like this (can't do colouring books because she tries to eat crayons) https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0C4FJBFGV?psc=1&ref=ppxpoppmobbbasin_title&dplnkId=f9a3d0f8-bfc2-4ae6-875c-8da47aa90717&nodl=1

Sticker books also good. And one of those toys you pull the rubber strings through.

But as others say, lots of practise early on will really help. We love taking her to restaurants, and she always has a great time. Helps that she's very keen on food 😂

It's doable. There may be the odd tantrum.

We played going to a restaurant at dinner and lunch for a few days. I pre set the table, as you would in a restaurant, had some crayons and a colour lingerie sheet for the toddler, lit a tea light, used fake menus. Practiced sitting and waiting and small talk etc. Then had H or myself (we took turns) serve dinner and role it out.

Every time we passed a restaurant we talk about it..."what do you do there? ,what would you like to eat? Do we sit or stand on the chairs? Etc

I think modelling what will happen and managing expectations goes along way.

We even chatted about what ifs?

Also, go armed with sticker books, search and find picture books, water books etc. Don't give them to him as soon as you get there. Wait until you need to give them to him to distract and redirect his attention away from wanting to explore his surroundings. Also, nothing wrong with when wait for food going to have a little walk round and show and explain things through. And, bring him back to the table etc.

Good luck, it's some of the best family fun we've had. Try not to resort to screens, yes they have a time and a place but it's just a crutch you'll end up battling down the line. Save yourself that hassle. It's part of growing up and learning how to behave and it's another parenting hurdle that needs to be gone over.

I would always make sure to take my kids to a play area before trying to eat out so they had burnt a bit of energy and worked up an appetite. I founds having small, fiddly snacks (raisins are perfect) would help to keep them busy while waiting for the food to arrive. And then would try and have a book and toy or 2. Hold out as long as possible before resorting to any of these, and then do one at a time.

Other than that, accept that this is not going to be a leisurely 3 course meal - eat and out! Don't order starters! Puddings are usually OK as kids are keen for that.