How can I help create play dates for my child?

[SummerRs]

Hello. I am looking for some advice for my shy 8 year old son. He is an only child and apart from my husband, we rarely see our small family as most of them live many hours away.

I have really tried over the past few years to help build up friendships and play dates. He belongs to a youth group, has friends over now and then, has big parties etc. He enjoys sports but is too anxious to join any kind of team.

Unfortunately, many children do belong to clubs and socialise with one another outside of school (along with their families). It is so hard to become part of these groups. I feel so sad. My son is never invited to anything. All the play dates he has, are initiated by me. It’s been like this for a few years now. I am grateful that he has a group of friends he plays with at school but he doesn’t get invited to days out, as he is not part of their sport clubs (or me the WhatsApp groups that are linked to the clubs).

So my question is, any ideas what I can do to help him? It breaks my heart when I see a party or park get together that have been organised with his friends but he’s not invited too. Xx

Is it bothering him? I ask because 2 of my 3 kids take after me and really like our own space. The other would have a handful of friends over every single day if I would allow it.

Obviously he won't be invited to meets if he's not in the club. Maybe he might be willing to try the club if it's that important to him. I found once you get past 7/8 years old, then there's little space for "beginners" in many sports clubs. Even if he could trial for a few weeks with the idea that they may not run over the summer so theres a natural break if he decides not to return.

I think the parties upset him. The meet ups aren’t linked to the clubs, just linked to the parent friendships. Yes I agree, not a lot of room for beginners and the clubs in question are all full even if he was interested. X