DD has said nursery teacher grabbed and squeezed her arm

[katem98]

Hi all,

Posting here as other topic doesn't seem to get much traffic.

Bit of background.

I have 2 DCs, DS5 and DD3. DS attended the same nursery setting when he was 4, enjoyed it as much as he could (separation anxiety). It's a small nursery with 4 staff members, I have a good relationship with two of them. They're quite friendly and seem to be great with the kids, everyone in the area recommend them etc.

My DD started with them last week. She's enjoyed it so far and looks forward to nursery days (3 a week). I call them midday or they call me and the update has always been 'she's getting on well', 'engaging with children', 'keeping them on their toes'. Same updates as pickup - the usual.

I've just settled her down for bedtime and she said that today one of the nursery teachers grabbed her wrist and squeezed it. I asked why that happened and she put her hand to her mouth and whispered 'baby bed' I asked her to elaborate and she said that she pretended to be a baby and led down in the toy baby cot' the teacher then grabbed her wrist and 'walked with her'.

My DD does like to overdramatise situations and does have quite a good imagination.

I don't want to dismiss her at all but also don't want to accuse staff. Is anyone able to offer any guidance on how to approach the situation? Thanks in advance. I want to navigate this the right way.

Sorry to hear about that and it's good that you've reached out for advice.
I would personally tell your child that doesn't sound great or worse to that effect, and thank her for letting you know. And tell her you will look into it
Then I would talk to the nursery at drop off next time and just keep it factually "on Friday my child said on Friday (blah blah) do you know what happened?"
They will probably say they will find out and get back to you, if not you can ask them to look into it. If you are not happy with their response you could put it in writing.
Once you find out you can ask them to discuss with your child and you can also discuss with your child.

It's not a choice between believing your child and not accusing anyone, you can stay neutral and curious.

Something happened with my son, I can't remember what but my son said something like a new teacher came in and picked him up and put him on the mat, and I approached it as I suggested and the teacher (nursery) investigated and said they would never do that but it was a special day for year 6s to come in and teach the children. Then it turned out it must have been a year 6, as to a 4 year old, a year 6 is basically an adult!
I asked them to talk to him and I also talked to him and he doesn't seem to be upset by it long term.

Good luck! It almost always sounds more serious than it really is!

I don't see the point in mentioning it to the nursery. If this member of staff did as your daughter said then she's hardly going to admit to it is she. She will minimise or deny it. If I thought that it might be true I would just remove my daughter and find a new nursery.