Would you leave your 9yo for 2 weeks

[Dreambyme]

Would you leave your 9yo with his DF to go to a long-haul distance country to see my sick and dying DF? This is the last chance to see him.

I’m a SAHM so DS is used to me being around and it will cause huge disruption for DH’s job, but it’s possibly doable. DH is totally competent so it’s not that, I’m just feeling anxious about being apart from DS for that long (only been up to 2 nights before), and I keep worrying that he will be upset/unsettled, he will have an asthma attack when I’m gone (he’s been hospitalised x2 in the last year), then I worry my plane will crash or I’ll be in an accident. Honestly, I’m never anxious like this usually ☹️

DH suggested we all go but it would mean taking DS out of school during term-time which is obviously not ideal, plus he doesn’t know my DF at all; meaning it’s not a holiday for him when I’ll be tied up with DF and emotional, even though DH would take him out and do stuff. This option will cost ££££ which we can ill afford, but again we will if we have to.

We have no other local family here to be around for DS while I’m gone.

Please don't be nasty and call me ridiculous and pathetic - I’m feeling a bit fragile at the moment.

Yes. You will regret it if you don't and your DS will be fine.

I was away from DD4 for 10 days for a work trip last year and it was fine.

He'll be fine. He might be a little upset, but that's fine too. Nine is old enough to understand where you've gone and why. It's ok for children to be upset and work through it. It'll probably be a nice bonding experience for him and DH.

Absolutely go. Your child will be fine.

I was going to say no, but then I read your post. In these circumstances, I would.

Yes, you should go. Plan frequent face times. Send pics of you and DF together as well as the area (if this was where you grew up).

Appreciate the juggling your DH will be doing to accommodate the trip, try not to micromanage him while you're away. He may do things a different way or forget to take DS to scouts or whatever. If he's a good man, I'm sure he'll do his best to make sure home runs well in your absence.

On the other hand, don't overdo the appreciation or he'll think he's some sort of hero rather than simply a dad stepping up when needed.

Your DS will be fine and you'll be greeted with lots of hugs when you return home. Your DF will appreciate you travelling to see him and you will feel better for having made the trip.

You're not ridiculous or pathetic. Any one suggests that you are should look in the mirror.

Yes, I would. Anxiety is very understandable - your concern for your dad will be spilling out onto this worry also

Yes. I’m a sahm who doesn’t really like leaving my kids over night but I think you need to go.

My Mum recently died and I understand the want to cling onto your child at this time and make sure he is safe but he is with his Dad and will be fine.

If I was close to my father, then yes, I would have left my kids at that age under those circumstances.

You’re not ridiculous or pathetic, you’re a caring mum who is facing losing her dad, it’s no wonder you’re feeling fragile and anxious.

100 percent yes

Yes, go and see your dad while you can.

when I read the title I thought you meant leave them alone... but 2wks with their dad is absolutely fine! Go and be with your dad. Hopefully you will have precious time with your dad and they will have priceless father and son time too ❤️💐

I was thinking ‘No’ when I saw the title but, in your circumstances, absolutely yes. Go.
So sorry your DF is so poorly op.

Absolutely go.

Yes I would.

You will regret not going and your son will be fine with daddy.

You have to go. He will be fine; might miss you but will probably also have a great time having some one on one time with his dad.
2 weeks out of your sons life is nothing but misssing being with your dad is something you will never get back.

Yes, definitely.

The only modification I might make would be to fly late Sunday/early Monday, stay away the middle weekend, and come back the following Friday. So, just under 2 weeks, with the weekends at home with DS.

Yes, absolutely. Your 9 year old will be fine. You are setting a good example to them.

I think the anxiety you are feeling is heightened by the emotion of the situation.

Go and spend that precious time with your dad.

When my mother was sick and diagnosed as terminal, I went with my 4yr old, but left the 6 and 9 yr old at home with dad. They were all fine. I didn't even book a return flight, since I did not know how long I was going to stay. As it turned out, my Aunt also came and stayed with my DM, so I went home after about 10 days. The older children and DH coped without me and were grateful to see me when I came home.

I would go if I were you.

You say two weeks, which seems like a really long time, but if you think about how much time you'd normally physically spend with your DC, once you've counter in school, activities, sleep etc, and the fact that DC will be with their very capable father, it'll fine.
Go be with your DF. X

I'm dropping my kids off in France for three weeks with grandparents. They are 8 and 12, so yes.