Meany for not giving my 4 month old a dummy?

[alx9g]

So my 20 week old briefly had a stint with a dummy as a newborn, however we felt it didn’t really benefit us, she wouldn’t go into a deep sleep with it and would wake up as soon as it fell out, so we stopped using it and she was not bothered at all.

Recently she’s cut her first tooth and has another coming through, plus I think as normal with normal 4 month old development has been putting her hands in her mouth. My husband and MIL think she wants a dummy again and we’re disagreeing on it. My husband thinks any sucking means she needs a dummy and my MIL says she’ll be more content with one.

I’ve been holding firm but appreciate other mums views.

She has loads of teething toys I usually give her when she does this or I try and distract her. She also sleeps really well (at night, we won’t talk about daytime lol).

Our oldest (5) never had a dummy so am I right in thinking this just a phase she’ll outgrow?

Hold firm - it is the best thing you can do for his speech development! DH is a SaLT so absolutely no dummies in this household!

Literally pointless if she sleeps well at night. Dummies are to help them sleep as the sucking relaxes them and they’re great for that. But also they’re annoying because they can’t replace them themselves until ~6-7 months and even then only if they can find it, plus then you’ve got the hassle of weaning them off it as a toddler. So you definitely don’t introduce one just because baby is teething, that’s just such a weird suggestion! And even babies that have dummies naw their hands, stick toys in their mouth etc. it’s a normal phase of development as you must already know since this isn’t your first! MIL and DH sound bonkers.

Ime - if you give a teething baby a dummy, they'll chew it for a few seconds then spit it out in frustration. Especially if they're not used to a dummy since they were a newborn.

So, this is an easy one to solve. Let MIL/DH, preferably both together, hand the baby the dummy while she's chewing her fist. Watch baby spit it out and scream in frustration. Say "I told you so". The end!

Teething toys are way better for teething - they have more bite.

I honestly wouldn't bother if she sleeps well and hasn't had one up to now. DD2 isn't too bothered about her dummy compared to DD1.

She is 5 months and also teething, I offer the dummy but she would much rather chew her hands, finger, bib etc. So let her keep doing that.

X

With a dummy you’re trading the pain of removing it in a few years for sleep now. If you don’t need or wouldn’t get the sleep now, no point in the trade. She needs something to chew on like a Sophie giraffe or whatever.

No point for a dummy at this point. Of course she is putting her hands in her mouth as she is teething. It being a sign of her wanting a dummy is just stupid.

I really never understand this viewpoint, dummies aren't natural, how can a baby NEED or WANT one???

There is pain relieving benefits of breastfeeding for comfort and the action of using a dummy might replicate that and the push on the palate that releases pain relieving chemicals but breastfeeding through it would be better or a bit of Calpol or teething rings rather than a dummy.

We bought ds a teething toy at 3m, well it’s like a silicone bear shape with two tiny arms and ds could put his hand inside it and grasp the middle and it would stay on his hand. I ordered it from Amazon. It made him really good at hand eye coordination. So much so that by the time we were weaning he was great at picking up a carrot and putting it straight into his mouth. He only used the teething toy from 4m until about 8m and would sometimes use it as comfort to help him nap in the day but mostly for his teeth to suck/bite. We took it to baby groups and half of the group ended up buying one once they saw it.

Could you link it please @Blue2020 it sounds fab!

Sorry for the delay. These are what I got. https://amzn.eu/d/cKP5mup
They now have different versions too, plus you might be able to find them on other sites.

Oh and it’s a chicken not a bear, but they do have other similar animals on sale too.