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To those of yoh who's children/teenagers don't 'go out' with friends

12 replies

RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:14

Are you worried?

I have a 13yo DS who seems fine, he's chatty and cheeky and does fine at school, where he seems to have friends...but he very rarely will see anyone outside of school. He does belongs to a football club though.

I had a bit of a rubbish/abusive home life when I was young, but I learned so much from friends and their families (there were some bad eggs, but some great ones too). I think my DS has a calmer and more relaxed home life, but quite often worry about lack of time outside home and school.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:14

Typo in my title!

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PrincessOfPreschool · 25/04/2024 18:16

My 18yo never ever goes out with friends. My 15yo does but not loads. He has 2-3 good friends he sees but not everyday. My teen daughter meets her friends about 1-2x per term so it's not hugely regular.

RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:19

Thanks for replying @PrincessOfPreschool ... is it just the norm now? I'm only 36 (although I feel a lot older) and I would go out all the time. I've told DS I'm happy to drive him and collect him from wherever.

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BoohooWoohoo · 25/04/2024 18:19

I have a son who loves going out but it’s too cold to go out for long atm.
Do you live in a place where there is somewhere to go or where teens can get to each other’s houses easily ?

KezzaMucklowe · 25/04/2024 18:19

One of my dts never wanted to go out. He would chat to his friends whilst playing online with them.
He started going to a youth group and that inspired him to start actually going out in the real world.
The way young people socialise has really changed though, they're all so happy to stay in and chat on their phones.

Warmfuzzyblankets · 25/04/2024 18:21

I think I worry about everything!! But my daughter doesn't ever go out with friends. Every weekend she's just...in. When I was a kid I was out all the time at someone else's house or just hanging around somewhere outside. I know other kids do cos I've seen them...but maybe it's not as much of a thing anymore?

RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:23

@BoohooWoohoo we had a very difficult year last year, we ended up homeless, I scrambled around for somewhere to buy, and bought in a cheaper village 10 minutes drive away from out old village, so we don't know anyone, thats why I harp on about being happy to drive him. Conscious I've mentioned it quite a lot through worry...hence my post.

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RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:26

I understand part of it being a new way of socialising. He used to play with friends online but the last month hasn't turned his playstation on, says he's bored of it now.

I'm glad I'm not alone. I BLAME THE DEVICES!!!

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KezzaMucklowe · 25/04/2024 18:48

Does your new village have any youth groups ?
The one my dts goes to is really popular and they've met loads of new people there.
I blame devices too.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/04/2024 18:59

RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:23

@BoohooWoohoo we had a very difficult year last year, we ended up homeless, I scrambled around for somewhere to buy, and bought in a cheaper village 10 minutes drive away from out old village, so we don't know anyone, thats why I harp on about being happy to drive him. Conscious I've mentioned it quite a lot through worry...hence my post.

Would cycling be the solution?

stayathomer · 25/04/2024 19:04

I did with 16 yo, overcompensated by telling him to go out more and now worry about where they hang out.
14yo I worry about so the odd time I tell him to go to the cinema with friends and they all turn up looking like terrified young deer in headlights!
I used to have friends over and we’d go to my room and same in my friends house but don’t know if that was a girl thing?

PrincessOfPreschool · 25/04/2024 20:01

RedFence · 25/04/2024 18:19

Thanks for replying @PrincessOfPreschool ... is it just the norm now? I'm only 36 (although I feel a lot older) and I would go out all the time. I've told DS I'm happy to drive him and collect him from wherever.

I'm not sure if it's the norm. I think so. Some of my son's friends have girlfriends so they do spend time with them, round each other's houses but v rarely does anyone come to ours (we have lots of loads of space).

My vision for my family was to have one of those houses full of kids in and out, loads of noise and laughter, the front door a revolving door. It hasn't really happened. DD is embarrassed about our house (I think it's very nice but her friends have huge houses which look like show homes). DS1 has no friends. DS2 brings them sometimes and I love it when he does but not often enough!

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