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Son feeling left out

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user1499191107 · 24/04/2024 22:04

I have noticed the last few days that my 13 year old son has been a bit down and not engaging with friends online and on the phone as much as usual. Tonight after much cajoling, he admitted that he was upset because he feels like he is being a bit left out of his friend group. He got teary and didn't want to talk about it much. He has a nice group of friends but I know that all kids can sometimes be thoughtless and do things that aren't meant to hurt but do. I think it mainly relates to times after school when some of them sometimes go into town or McDonald's or a park, and he has been excluded a couple of times. He was upset so I didn't really get to the bottom of it. A couple of girls have quite recently joined the group (4 boys) and he seems quite friendly with one of them especially. But I'm wondering whether this has changed the dynamic of the group. I know I am totally overthinking this, but he is our only child, who we had later in life, and it hurts me to see him sad. Is this a normal teenage thing that just has to be ridden out? Any input would be appreciated x

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Novemberweather99 · 24/04/2024 22:58

Hello
I notice a similar thing with my DS too from time to time..he's a bit younger than your ds and sometimes seems withdrawn and emotional and won't open up. It worries me a lot and finally get it out of him that his mates are leaving him out or not invited him to something etc. He does have a habit of taking things to heart and seems to take everything personally even though I explain to him that the boys most probably haven't done anything deliberately to upset him. He focuses on the worst case scenario!

I also find that friendship groups are up and down week by week and I try and encourage him to go with the flow and not be too reliant on one or two people but try and get to know other people and broaden his circle.

My DS does Scouts which has been amazing for him meeting new people outside of school.

Original poster
user1499191107 · 25/04/2024 12:05

Novemberweather99 · 24/04/2024 22:58

Hello
I notice a similar thing with my DS too from time to time..he's a bit younger than your ds and sometimes seems withdrawn and emotional and won't open up. It worries me a lot and finally get it out of him that his mates are leaving him out or not invited him to something etc. He does have a habit of taking things to heart and seems to take everything personally even though I explain to him that the boys most probably haven't done anything deliberately to upset him. He focuses on the worst case scenario!

I also find that friendship groups are up and down week by week and I try and encourage him to go with the flow and not be too reliant on one or two people but try and get to know other people and broaden his circle.

My DS does Scouts which has been amazing for him meeting new people outside of school.

Thank you for this! My son is the same, quite sensitive and probably more dependent than most on his friendships (only child). I think I will try to encourage him to join a club in or out of school to expand his friendship group. This morning I tried to remind him that his friends do care but sometimes people get careless about including everyone all the time. He seemed a bit better today, so will just play it by ear I guess. Thank you for your input x

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