Will I make my kids sad

[buvbbles]

I’m a bit depressed after DD2 arrival she’s 12 weeks old I have a 2 year old and I’m scared I’ll make them sad/miserable kids

how do I avoid this I’m trying my best I feel like I’m wearing a mask alone with them just to try and hide how I really feel

Ime your sleep is vital. As soon as your dc 2 is ready get good bedtimes going.... And for you. Long term lack of sleep makes me a horrendous dm. And it had bad health issues down the line.

@Dareisayiseethesunshine this is really affecting me. Some nights I’m seeing every single hour of the night. I’m up a lot most nights currently

Eldest sleeps quite well so that’s fine but youngest doesn’t yet of course

Have you got a partner to help you op?

@Dareisayiseethesunshine yeah I’m EBF currently but will be switching to bottles so I can get some help, he works long hours too. So he can only help in snippets but does what he can but because of his long work and me breast feeding it’s hard and naturally a lot falls to me

I had what I think must have been PND when my first was born, and thought I was ruining their life forever with how I felt, sadness, crying, no bond etc. I struggle to remember that now, it seems so long ago. My 4 year old is the happiest kid, constant laughter and they’ve never even had a tantrum, luck and nature rather than how I raised them I’m sure, just including that to show how different it can turn out from what you think and fear in those early scary days and nights.

@itsarealhumdinger did your child ever have tantrums when they were around 2 my little boy does and that’s what’s making me worry :( I’m worried I’m making him sad and or angry which is why he has them

Please don't worry about your two year old having tantrums that's a completely normal part of development. You are recognising that you're struggling and you're at a very difficult time so it's natural that you'd be finding things hard.

Take things day by day - the early years are brutal but I promise it all gets so much better once they're about three.

I had severe depression and spent 10 weeks in a mother and baby unit. It took until my baby was 2 to recover.
No damage and I have a happy healthy 3yo

Keep reaching out for help. You aren't harming your children. Children and babies have a whole wealth is emotions and it is so hard when they can't express them and you get tantrums. It's absolutely normal but that doesn't mean it is easy when it's happening

Tantrums are normal and healthy! Not at all a sign of anything wrong.

Different perspective - my DMum has always struggled with anxiety and depression. I was aware of it during my childhood, partly because my Nan was bipolar. She was/is an absolutely marvelous mum. I love her with all my heart and she is the most amazing person. Her struggles haven't done me any damage, and your struggles don't make you a bad mum either.