Son being sexually abused by "friend" at school

[nailsathome]

I have to say it out loud somewhere. My 8yr old wonderful son broke down this afternoon and told me a friend of his has been badgering him until he caves and participates in sexual acts at school. I'm devastated for him and for me. How could I not know this was happening to my wonderful boy.

This is appalling . You need to take this further . I’m amazed that the school feel it’s appropriate for you to speak to the mum

I'd be worried at how this came about that they could be alone together and unsupervised long enough for it to happen. That doesn't fill me with great confidence about day to day safeguarding at the school. I presume it happened in the loos, most schools have policies about only letting kids in one at a time and stuff (to avoid vandalism/flooding etc). What is going on there that they could even be alone for your son to be abused? I'd be bringing that up with the school too.

I totally agree ,coercion is also a red flag to me - but the specifics of the incident are what make the difference between SS deciding to be involved and them letting the school handle it. It sounds as if to them it’s currently falling under “ 2 kids being body curious” but obviously you know far more about what your son is saying. If you are not getting the support you feel your boy needs then you need to escalate it to the head and then the governors.

Good lord the schools reaction is appalling. This other boy is showing massive red flags for being abused himself, the repercussions for him if a parent goes wading in to speak to his family are potentially not good are they! I'm so sorry for your boy, they should be safeguarding so much better than this.

I can believe the school are minimising it. Kid in dds class regularly gets his penis out and tells the girls to touch it. He also tries to put his hands inside the girls knickers and says it’s ok because his mum says he can do it.
School have done absolutely nothing other than tell the girls to stay away from him then blame them if it happens by saying they told them to stay away from him 🙄

That's absolutely appalling and misogynistically backwards thinking!!!!! I'm so sickened by that.

The school minimising this is a safeguarding issue in itself. They are not qualified to assess the risk of sexual harm this young person poses and it doesn’t sound like they’ve considered that the perpetrator may themselves be a victim of child sexual abuse.
In terms of your son I’d highly recommend referring him to letting the future in, which you can find more about on the nspcc website.

It is really worrying that SS suggested you tell his mum yourself! What happens if she is abusing him at home? He is learning this behaviour from somewhere. I’d start writing everything down and contact the Headteacher with concerns over how this has been allowed to happen in school and how it has been handled after. You could also address the letter to the governors.

Your poor boy x