1st baby colic, what about the second?

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Hi all, this is more a curiosity thread than anything as know there’s no right answer. If you had a baby with colic, did any subsequent babies have it too?

We has a tough time from 3 - 12 weeks with our first born as he cried from roughly 5pm - 11pm most evenings. He was a covid baby & I developed post natal anxiety thereafter. Thankfully by the time he was 5 months I was good again & he was a very happy baby afterwards too.

I’m due a little girl in June & know this experience will be different as there’ll be more help available for starters but I am curious if many people has more than one colic baby….

Our first had colic, she would scream 5 hours a night too! It completely broke me and I was diagnosed with PND. She also had silent reflux and refused to feed, she didn't sleep well because she was hungry and in pain etc etc... what I'm saying is she was incredibly difficult until about 6 months of age. So when I found out I was pregnant again at 6 months pp I was very nervous. DD2 turned out to be the complete opposite of her sister- she is the calmest, happiest, most content baby. There are 15 months between them. At the very least, if your 2nd does have colic, you will know what to expect and how to cope with it. Best wishes

First had it for 7 months (preemie and it was a really really hard time) and second also had it but from 3-7 weeks roughly so it ended much quicker (even though in the thick of it it felt like the worst thing ever!). Very glad it didn't last as long this time..

Thanks ladies good to hear it from other perspectives. I’m trying to prepare myself mentally & then if baby doesn’t have colic it will be a bonus! @LLMS2022 that sounds like a very tough 6 months with reflux & colic. Delighted your second baby didn’t have it. @paristotokyo you had a very tough run, thankfully your second one didn’t have it as long as honestly it would break you. I know you’re more prepared second time round but very hard when people say oh enjoy those first few months with the newborn & the snuggles etc. definitely wasn’t the case here so hoping for an easier time this time 🤞🏻

Id describe my eldest as being colicky. He would, bang on 4pm, scream for hours and/or cluster feed. Nothing stopped it. He was a very unsettled newborn generally. Lasted from 2-14 weeks.

My second born had what I’d more describe as witching hour. From 5pm until 9 ish he’d cry on and off, want to be around the boob (EBF) and cry if put down. Would usually calm if walked round outside. Lasted from about 3-10 weeks. He was otherwise a settled baby.

So both unsettled in the evening but one far far worse than the other.

I had the same fear, second has always been very settled in the evenings.

@VivaVivaa t your first sounds like my first & your second I reckon I could handle - it was the hours of crying and not sleeping that became so stressful for us both. Never having an evening & tiptoeing around when ge eventually went to sleep! @violetcuriosity heres hoping for the same as you, sending all the positive vibes out there!

My first was colicky and a nightmare to put down every evening, hours of crying after feeding and at bedtime. It was bloody hard.
I used to look wistfully at other parents of babies who would just feed and then be put down to sleep, anywhere without burping and endless shushing and singing and rocking back and forth etc etc, and wished my baby was like that.
My second baby was like that 😁. And I knew how lucky I was!
And in my experience with seeing friends in this situation - it is FAR preferable to have a colicky first one than it is to have an 'easy' first one and a colicky second one... Seeing friends deal with the reality of that after thinking babies are so easy whilst also coping with the general parent knackeredness and a toddler - I didn't envy them!
Best of luck OP, it will be what it will be, but now you know what to expect - and you know you can cope with it!

And in my experience with seeing friends in this situation - it is FAR preferable to have a colicky first one than it is to have an 'easy' first one and a colicky second one

I couldn’t agree with this more. I am forever grateful my hard baby/toddler/child came first and second is easy. Mostly because I might have got ideas I was an epic parent if it had happened the other way round 😬 and just thinking about trying to put a toddler to bed while dealing with a screaming newborn brings me out in a cold sweat.

My first one was really colicky, he was so difficult and I know friends felt sorry for me - and I was hugely envious of people with easier babies. I spent the whole of my second pregnancy telling myself that the first three months are horrific but after that it improves - then lo and behold my second was so much easier and more settled, and I understood why people would say that they enjoyed the newborn phase!

Ahh this was me, I’d look at other parents & wish it was me or wish I could cope as well as them I suppose. I literally couldn’t understand how anyone could cope with 2 babies under 18 months etc. but then I came to realise it wasn’t normal / typical. Couldn’t imagine colicky baby with a fussy toddler. Thankfully our 3 year old now sleeps well so shouldn’t be a factor. And yes what will be will be & I know we will survive! Although happy to hear your second was an easy baby!

This makes a lot of sense - I think it made us more resilient in the long run - even though it impacted us hugely as a couple at the time.

I definitely felt hard done by and I did not enjoy the newborn phase but then it was covid, first baby etc. we have psyched ourselves up for a tough first few months here regardless & if things aren’t as bad as previously experienced we won’t know ourselves!

My first was very colicky and would cry for hours every evening. I was exhausted. Second child barely ever cried - totally different experience. You never know how things will turn out.
Good luck!

My first was also colicky and a Covid baby and I had terrible PPA because of it all so I really sympathise. After a lot of reading and real search I tried to bring in some protective factors to mitigate the risk of colic this second time around. I had no idea before that some things could make colic more likely. I have no idea if it’s coincidence but my second is almost ten weeks and has been so settled and easy so worth a try maybe. I took probiotics throughout the pregnancy and gave him colief probiotic drops from birth, a lot of research suggests antibiotics during pregnancy or at birth can increase the likelihood of colic and probiotics can help mitigate this risk. Also I only BF with no formula at all, my first had a combination of the two there is no suggestion that babies are more likely to have colic if they are FF but there can be a link between bottle feeding and colic. Good luck!

My first had terrible colic and I thought it would kill me. His brothers were all very calm and quiet. My second baby had to be woken up for feeds!
It really isn't the case that colic will necessarily affect everybody one it has affected one.

First and third here, middle one much better (the reason I had a third tbh). Good luck. It was easier to deal with a second time around as I knew what to expect and got on with it more instead of agonising. I also knew they would grow out of it.

First baby has such bad colic it took me almost 4 years to pluck up the courage to have another. Second baby was an absolute dream and rarely cries (waiting for the toddler phase though where I'm sure I'll regret these words). I was prepared for the worst and kind of wished away the first few weeks because I was expecting colic to start at 3/4/5 weeks. It didn't and I was so relieved. The entire experience helped me to understand why people actually enjoy the newborn phase. He's got a totally different temperament too and doesn't have the allergies/reflux my first had which might also be a factor. Good luck with number 2!

Thanks everyone for all the responses, I appreciate you taking the time to communicate your own experiences. I suppose as it gets closer to baby coming it has got me thinking whilst trying not to overthink it at the same time! There’s no predictor of course & it’s completely a case of come what may. It always makes me feel less alone to know that many others have experienced colic / reflux & have lived to tell the tale hard and all as it is.

@Thewildthingsarewithme thanks for all the tips & sorry to hear you had ppd as well. I’ve tried to put things in place too to help. A long covid restricted labour followed by latching difficulties & then colic didn’t help me. This time round I’ll be saying yes to all the help & of course it won’t be as big a shock to the system!

DC1 had colic/reflux
DC2 not a hint of either!

Reflux and allergies cried for 16-20h a day for my first until 5 months
It took until my daughter was 3 to contemplate a second. We still only have the one but we now feel that if we did have a second like our first we have the strength and resilience to cope.

My mum has always said she didn't realise that you could enjoy a baby until I came along. My older sister had severe reflux and was failure to thrive. I'm holding on to this. My first was during the pandemic which made a difficult situation impossible

Both mine had colic, but with the 2nd I was so busy looking after the 1st (who was a toddler at this point) that I noticed the screaming a lot less!

Thanks everyone for all the responses - great to hear a variety of situations. Moral of the story I think is of 2nd has colic/reflux it won’t be as big a shock to the system and you’ll know it will eventually pass…

First baby also born at start of lockdown. Had silent reflux I didn't realise. Also colic. Lots of feeding issues with zero support. Shit sleeper.

Second baby completely different. None of the above (lots more support too!)

Just luck of the draw I think

Colic with first, lockdown baby. None with second. Breastfed second which may be linked (didn't intend to, but just worked out!).

Just thought I’d update this thread as when searching l love when the OP rounds it off.

Baby is 8 weeks old & she’s a dream. Completely different experience to our first & no colic/reflux. We feel incredibly lucky. Know that things can change in an instant & certainly more aware / open to that as a second time mum but for the moment we are very much enjoying life with a colic free baby.

Agree with those who mentioned above you’re so busy with a toddler you don’t have time to think regardless. The adjustment period was tough!