Changing daughters name

[meadowkoa]

Hi all,

My daughter is 5 months old and has her dad's last name. Throughout pregnancy I always said I wanted her to have a double barrel last name and take both of our surnames. (We are not married). In the first couple of days of having her I said she could take his surname only after him saying things such as "I'd love it if she just had my name". During the baby bubble I was so happy and just thought why not.

5 months on and I really regret it, I feel like I almost instantly regretted it. I come from a very small family and it is only me that would be carrying our family name on and now it's ended. Since having our daughter we have also been disappointed by the lack of support and even coming to see our daughter his family has given.

We are looking at getting her a passport soon and I'm really sad she won't also have my last name. I want to change it by deed poll to the original double barrell one as initially planned but I just know this will cause an argument and he will be offended.

Has anybody been through anything similar or get any advice?

Thanks in advance x

I bet your sentiment about the surname!
My sons don't have my surname, they have my ex husbands. My youngest has my surname as a second middle name (born after separation) but ex won't allow me to include it in our eldest :(
Some just won't get why it means soemthing, but I do.

If you got married would you double barrel your surname? How do you feel about her having a different surname to both you and your partner now?

It'd be so u fair of your partner objected to this. It will make no difference to her life now but a lot of difference to yours. You're definitely not being unreasonable!

You would need his permission to add it. Are you planning on marrying? Have a conversation that you're upset your name isn't there and wouldn't he have been upset if you'd just given her your name and left his off? If you were marrying easier as you need to reregister when you marry anyway.

Not the same as we agreed to the change but just to say I did change child surname by deed poll and it was very easy. They got a new birth certificate. You might not even have to do that under 12 months.

I think it is absolutely fine to say you agreed due to hormones but are very disappointed and hope he will support you in this decision.

Thank you everyone. I was unsure if I was being unreasonable. Even if we got married I would still keep my surname!

I will have a chat with him soon and see what he says! Like one of you said, it would make little difference to her life but a big to mine!

Thanks everyone x

I just meant that when you marry you reregister so can change the name when you do so without the deed poll etc. I did this. Registered with both and decided if i took his name we'd remove mine on reregistration.