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Original poster

What happens when you can’t afford court?!

11 replies

Barrytheeggplant · 22/04/2024 22:30

My DP has a 50:50 arrangement for his DD (5)

We live together with my teen DD.

His ex recently started to email with random complaints about DD in our care. All ludicrous and petty, ‘I don’t like her being around animals all the time’ - we have a dog, ‘she told me she only has 2 sets of bedding’ - yup and we wash and change them each time she stays. As I say ridiculous stuff.

DP indulged her, sent emails back defending her being allowed help bath the dog or play on the trampoline.

Now she has said she wants to stop 50:50 and instead offered him EOW, if he doesn’t agree then it’s court.

Thing is, we have looked at this and it’s too expensive! We don’t have any family that can help, we are both working but he is self employed and not a lot of work at the moment so all of my money is being used right up with credit to pay the bills.

Surely she cannot just say this and then stop contact basically we think because she has a bee in her bonnet?

He tried to speak to her the other day and all she did was shout and rant at him.

We also looked at mediation but even that is expensive!

OP posts:
TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 22/04/2024 22:44

Whats the 50/50 set up? What days and times?

Problemnumber99 · 22/04/2024 22:47

If she stops 50/50, you will have to instigate proceedings. It starts with a mediation assessment which is around £100 but you can get that cost plus about one session covered as it relates to children. If that doesn't work, you will have to apply to court which is about £200. Unless you get legal support that's all it needs to cost.

I would think if that's her only reasons, it's highly unlikely a court would agree to reducing contact. They like 50/50 and also the status quo for the child.

She's probably just threatening but court is shit so avoid if you can. It all boils down to the cafcass officer you get. They are usually quite pro 50/50 too though.

ToBeTheBestYouCan · 22/04/2024 22:50

There's no hope for divorced siblings from a past relationship, they remind you of your ex partner. It's been spelled out throughout history, he'll be gone at 18, and the rest is duty to look after the infant until then. Divorced kids usually spend their teenage years around their friends house.

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Original poster
Barrytheeggplant · 22/04/2024 22:54

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 22/04/2024 22:44

Whats the 50/50 set up? What days and times?

It’s 3 nights - 4 days a week, pick up from school 4 days, sleep for the 3 nights, back home here for day 4 for dinner, change of clothes gets bits together and back to mum by 6:30pm.

OP posts:
Original poster
Barrytheeggplant · 22/04/2024 22:56

Problemnumber99 · 22/04/2024 22:47

If she stops 50/50, you will have to instigate proceedings. It starts with a mediation assessment which is around £100 but you can get that cost plus about one session covered as it relates to children. If that doesn't work, you will have to apply to court which is about £200. Unless you get legal support that's all it needs to cost.

I would think if that's her only reasons, it's highly unlikely a court would agree to reducing contact. They like 50/50 and also the status quo for the child.

She's probably just threatening but court is shit so avoid if you can. It all boils down to the cafcass officer you get. They are usually quite pro 50/50 too though.

Bloody hell, even £100 would be hard to find this month tbh, but might be leaser of evils. Just doesn’t seem fair! Would she have to pay?

OP posts:
Original poster
Barrytheeggplant · 22/04/2024 22:56

ToBeTheBestYouCan · 22/04/2024 22:50

There's no hope for divorced siblings from a past relationship, they remind you of your ex partner. It's been spelled out throughout history, he'll be gone at 18, and the rest is duty to look after the infant until then. Divorced kids usually spend their teenage years around their friends house.

Ok, that’s an odd comment

OP posts:
TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 22/04/2024 23:00

Barrytheeggplant · 22/04/2024 22:54

It’s 3 nights - 4 days a week, pick up from school 4 days, sleep for the 3 nights, back home here for day 4 for dinner, change of clothes gets bits together and back to mum by 6:30pm.

Show quote history

Arr yours always weekday mights and mums is always weekend? Or is it yoirs 3 nights then the week after yours 4?

ToBeTheBestYouCan · 22/04/2024 23:02

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Problemnumber99 · 22/04/2024 23:05

Barrytheeggplant · 22/04/2024 22:56

Bloody hell, even £100 would be hard to find this month tbh, but might be leaser of evils. Just doesn’t seem fair! Would she have to pay?

Show quote history

No, she wouldn't have to pay unless she had legal representation.
It's a very unfair system, I'm sorry she's being so vindictive. You may be able to get legal aid but I'm not sure what the criteria is for that.

Problemnumber99 · 22/04/2024 23:06

Problemnumber99 · 22/04/2024 23:05

No, she wouldn't have to pay unless she had legal representation.
It's a very unfair system, I'm sorry she's being so vindictive. You may be able to get legal aid but I'm not sure what the criteria is for that.

Show quote history

Sorry, she would have to pay for her mediation assessment if she chose to engage..

Problemnumber99 · 22/04/2024 23:11

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@ToBeTheBestYouCan is that the best you can be 😳

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