I just need to vent as the M&SIL (Mother & sister in law) are just too much ever since I had DS!
Before he was born I used to love going over there and we all got on so well but then everything changed when DS was born. It wasn't the most straightforward of births for starts and we were in hospital for coming on a week. The day he was born and we finally shared his name family, the MIL and SIL video called us and was like what a boring name. The day we got home was around 4pm and the first and only person I wanted to see was my mum. She come over we literally had dinner and she left as she could see I was knackered, could hardly sit down or walk but like me just wanted to give me a hug. She must of left around 8 by 9pm the OH mum, sister niece and nephew come over. And my gosh they just took over. Wanted to start giving him a wash down, clip his nails you name it. The first thing his sister said to me 'you look gaunt, you been eating' then as more time passed her and the MIL see that my milk had literally just started to come in and then decided to grilling me about I should breast feed. Cut a long story short they have just been over stepping ever since. The first few months of being a new mum was honestly ruined because of them. They was demanding to see him ALL the time and still do now (will come to this) they have continually done things that have rubbed me up the wrong way such as I remember when DS was literally a few months old and SIL would pick him up by his arms (he cried both times) the second time she done it I said can you not do that even the 12yr old niece said 'mummy why you pick him up like that' they constantly would just pick him straight up as soon as we got in the house regardless whether he was sleeping or not, I remember the day we was on our way to register DS and SIL called me and I mentioned where we were going, she didn't say anything tbf and off the phone she goes, by the time we had come out of the registry office, OH had a long message from his mum saying how she wants us to give DS a middle name (OH Dad who passed away, although they were never close and hadn't seen each other in over 10th years) then come the time when he was 4 months old and they tried to feed him on more than one occasion baring in mind I made it clear I wasn't going to start weaning until 6 months. When I tried to speak to the MIL about how they were making me feel, she seemed to of taken it well on the phone.... until at 3am I had a long message sent to me from the MIL saying how I am cheeky for saying the things I said and how her decades of experience is more than my few months!! After this it was safe to say I stopped going round there and so did DS. The SIL then called my OH basically cussing him out for the fact that they hardly see DS, so he then proceeded to tell them why. Until this day MIL has never apologised the sister just sent a text apologising if her actions caused any offence and that was that. I still feel exactly the same way yet I am still the only one who seems to be giving, like they see him every day over Christmas (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day) yet they moaned when we wasn't going there for New Years!! Now they're demanding they see him every other Monday as well as weekends! They honestly want to see him every weekend and when they don't they are on the phone to OH. The reason why I am venting is because I really thought we may have been getting somewhere (they seemed to off backed off) I really made an effort for MIL 60th. I went there straight after work and after picking DS up from nursery we were both knackered but still went, then come the party on the weekend again we was there until like midnight after getting there from 3pm and then went again on the Sunday. And this week I had the MIL on the phone expressing her dissatisfaction at the fact DS no longer has a dummy & telling me the reason why his probably always getting sick is because his his going through major changes such as going nursery, going on to full fat cows milk and now no longer having a dummy!! DS was never that fussed about his dummy it was the likes of them that forced it upon him as soon as he cried so I decided rather than wait for him to become attached to it take it away and honestly he never missed it it's been 5 weeks! All kids pick up colds from nursery like seriously. They're acting as if DS is theirs. They've already asked when they can have him over night and I shut that down. I don't feel like respect me as his mother and I have had enough. His 13 months and it just doesn't seem like things will ever change well at least until DS can decide for himself.
Is it just me because I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to explain myself to OH about them and trying to get them to understand??