4 year old party advice!

[oneplustwoplustwoplusone]

DS is about to turn 4 and it's our first party that's not just family. There will be around 12, mainly boys, 3 and four year olds. Have done 10:30 til 12:30 in our garden. A few questions as a party newbie.

We have a bouncy castle and some balloons. Do I need a couple of games planned as well. Pass the parcel? Anything else easy?

For food I was going to do some little lunch boxes each so they can then take them away if not eaten. 2 are dairy and gluten free. What's good to put in?

There will be a cake for candles, but ideally will keep it for the family gathering later. Is it ok to give out some gluten free/vegan cupcakes in the party bag rather than cutting the cake?

As parents will be staying was thinking coffee and some pastries too.

Any other tips welcome! I'm probably overthinking the whole thing 🙈

Musical bumps or musical statues is easy? From what I remember at that age they just want to play really, especially as there's a bouncy castle.

Coffee and pastries for the adults is a lovely idea and it's fine to put cupcakes in the boxes rather than cut the cake. Enjoy the party!

For the dairy and GF kids it might be worth speaking to their parents to see what's suitable rather than getting something they don't eat and wasting your money - they might offer to bring something.

I'd say hot potato is better for kids that age. Whoever ends up with the hot potato is out and they get a bag of haribo or buttons or whatever.
Pass the parcel takes an age and kids dont understand it.
I personally think it's stingy to keep the cake for later. The kids will see it and want it, so just give them a bit.
Although in my experience kids don't eat all the cake they just want icing so I now buy a dinosaur cookie sandwich from Millie's cookies and that gets annihilated by the children!!

We usually do: cheese or ham sandwiches, selection of crudités, crisps, sausage rolls and fruit chopped up.

They do not need a tonne of sweets and biscuits laid out (like some parties I've been to). Or a other idea is to only put savoury out first then some sweet stuff after they have eaten the savoury.

Allergy mum here! Ask for the recommendations for replacement foods but absolutely ok to put cupcakes into the party bags. Some of the replacement food don't taste great so they might have preferred brands plus it saves you on doing the research! My daughter has a soya allergy and it affects bread for sandwiches. I could tell you she needs soya free bread or I could tell you buy Tesco or Aldi own bread. If you can't get to either any supermarket wraps are ok it makes much more sense to pass on my knowledge! I always appreciate it when mums send me a photo of the ingredients too just to make sure nothing has been missed but my daughter has a lot of allergies not all of which have to be in bold on the ingredients so can be missed. Sometimes I have brought along my own ham sandwich that I know is safe and my daughter then doesn't realise that her ham sandwich is different to everyone else's so you might just want to pass on your menu suggestions and they can bring something to match.
At a recent party the host had a tray bake chocolate cake thing and some mini oggs (dairy, soya and egg free - do contain gluten though) cakes for my daughter. Everyone went for the oggs! You should be able to find gluten and milk free products but just a warning if there are any egg allergies as a lot of gluten free foods have egg in to replace the binding of gluten.
Tea and coffee for mums plus a few nibbles a pack of biscuits would probably do!
Games - music statues or similar if there's a lull - enough sweeties for one each if there's no lull pop them in the party bags

At that age we've not had games at parties. They often end in tears as the kids don't understand being Out or being left with one prize at that age.

A lot of parties have just been in playgrounds, if there is enough play equipment they don't need more entertaining. For at home parties I've seen stuff like pop up tunnel, play house, hula hoop, just open ended physical toys.

I've never seen the keeping a cake for family, we always buy 2 cakes so we have a family one and a party one (as a family we don't like the pretty but sugar laden iced cakes anyway). I'd just get a cheap supermarket cake for the kids if you want to keep the nice one for yourselves.

The majority of kids will cry at pass the parcel. Don't do it to yourself.

When my two were that sort of age I just gave them all a load of balloons and the Duplo to play with, with some music on, then they did 'dancing' while I got the food out.

Then I read them all a story (but I am a pantomime dame at heart)

Really? My DC did pass the parcel as the only game at her 4th birthday party and nobody cried. A few other parties also did it and I don't recall a child ever crying about it. Sometimes the shyest children don't want to join in at all (which was DD at a lot of the other parties) or need parental support to join but I don't recall anybody playing and getting upset.

I personally think it's strange to bring out the cake to blow the candle and not to share it/eat it.

Also why the food/cake in a party bag/ lunch boxes rather than they eat together?

I would just have loads of food prepared (sandwiches, pastery, veggetable sticks, hummus, fruit etc...) which they could snack on- for the parents the same.

I don't think they need loads of entertainment, but if you are looking for one, piñatas always loads of fun for the little ones.

Just did a garden party for 4yo today in our
garden.
no games - I live in terror of a child feeling left out or not having understood and crying while other children are playing.
i think 4 is too young for pass the parcel personally- too disappointing at an age when the main point of presents is still ripping off the wrapping paper as fast as possible.
so no games for us . We had a few blow up things in garden, one of those cardboard play house things to paint, some garden tents, a string pull piñata (HUGE hit)
table of food for kids (sandwiches and too many snacks!) and a table of “grown up” food but everyone welcome to take from anywhere of course.
i did let the kids just go mad on the food table and why not? It’s not every day!
the kids and grown ups all seemed to enjoy it all, and everyone stayed merrily for some time.
we did cut the cake and eat it there. Cupcakes (cheap shop bought fairy cakes) were also provided- kids demolished them.
If I was at a party where the candles were blown out I would expect to have some at least in the party bag.

But I LOVE parties of any kind and don’t mind putting in work and I am fine with kids getting off their nuts in sugar for one day. I think as a host it’s really important to do what works for you so you can feel relaxed during the event and enjoy it rather than do it out of duty

looking at your timings I would remember that most 3-4 yo are eating lunch early at nursery and may be really hungry by 12 so you could make the sit down lunch with the lunchboxes the focus if the event, and do the cake at the end and then pop a slice in the party bags/boxes to take home so people leave if you are running to a fixed slot. If you want to keep costs down do a cheap supermarket cake for candles and a nicer cake for family perhaps.

I hope you have a lovely time!

I'd have done 11-12.30'tbh.

Some sort of craft/colouring table?

Thanks all! V helpful.

Fingers crossed the weather perks up a little for it!