Anxious about child having a disability

[NaiceGreenEagle]

I've not had a great start to parenthood. The father of my child ran away as soon as he found out I was pregnant. My child's cousin (his sisters child) has been diagnosed with autism. I'm not petrified my child will be autistic.

I don't know what I want from this thread as autism isn't a death sentence, it's just diversity of the brain. There are various degrees and lots of people are being diagnosed as adults etc.

But still im petrified of my child having autism.

I've been to my GP about it and I'm not depressed so no medication. I've also been referred to the relationship service.

My nephew is autistic - and it runs in my sister in laws family and she has been diagnosed with autism.

I just don't know why I get so fixated on this one subject. Plenty of parents have autistic child and they thrive.

Im just by myself at home and my family are sick of talking to me about it. They can't reassure me.

Does anyone have any ideas or have gone through anything similar?

It's the fear of not knowing. You can't test for it and don't know until 2 year old or older etc.

Four Grandsons with ASD.. age 19 17 16 and ten.
3 oldest brothers.. youngest first cousin.
Eldest diagnosed age 6.. other three age 2.. we knew the signs by then.
All home educated.
Eldest is now at Uni.. works part time and has been in a relationship for two years.
The 17 and 16 year old do the same school work at home and 17 year old gained 8 GCSE's and is at college.
Ten year old is doing maths for 14 year olds.
The only difference from neuro typical peers is that their MH suffered at school.
They have friends.. they all love swimming..
They have a thirst for knowledge and learning.
Just think of all the famous people who had/ Have ASD .. look them up.
I wouldn't change my Grandsons for the world.. l wish sometimes l could change the world for them .
It's not a death sentence.

My DS is autistic. He was diagnosed aged 6. He would probably be diagnosed earlier these days though. No, there's no way to test for it in pregnancy and a diagnosis at age 2 would be very early in the UK.

His autism is very difficult, he is a teenager now and has been excluded from school, has aggressive meltdowns and has no qualifications. Of course there are other autistic people who are very high functioning and no bother at all, but if you do end up with an autistic child you'll have no control over how their autism will present.

There are always things you won't know about your child tbh, that's something every parent accepts. They could be carrying a faulty gene for something fatal and you wouldn't know until it suddenly happens. You just have to learn to control your anxiety because you won't be able to function as a parent otherwise.

How old is your DC op?

I would ask for a referral to post natal mental health service. This seems more appropriate than relationship.

It sounds like health anxiety has latched on to a single issue. Reaching out for support for this might be helpful.

I get it, if you see something challenging happening to someone in a related situation to you, you can find yourself in as state of fear if your brain is suitably vulnerable.

I think I would be looking at yourself rather than your little one.

Best of luck x

This is nothing to do with your child and everything to do with your anxiety - that's what you need to seek support for.

This. Even if they do have autism, your anxiety will be having a much worse impact on them

My Dp has autism ( adult diagnosis) it came as shock to him to realise but not to me!
He got his diagnosis just before DS was born and he was really anxious about DS having a learning disability and / or autism. He hid his anxiety from me to some extent but I could tell he was worried because he seemes so worries that 1 week old baby wasn't being social and other things like that. Once DS smiled at bang on 8 weeks he was so relieved and had a big cry.
So I can't say I have felt what you feel but I know someone who seems to have gone through similar.
How old is your baby?
Are you able to acess any talking therapies or counselling?

I'm autistic. I've had a good life so far. It would have been even better though if I had been diagnosed as a child rather than a mature adult. It would have helped me avoid a number of problems. Don't panic , OP.

Is it possible you might be autistic ?
High and and being fixated on one topic is typical

The scariest part of being pregnant is the lack of control of what will happen and what joy will • get "

You can't control this but you can con roll your anxiety