Childminder "she will be calling me mama"

[mamabeeboo]

Opinions on this not sure if IABU.

We have had our first week at childminders this week. DD is 8mo, and unfortunately I have had to go back to work.

The childminder has been great, very patient, tried to stick with our routine as much as possible, however something she said on Thursday at pick up which I'm still thinking about.

The usual chat of how the day was, and she said "don't worry, in a few weeks she will be calling me mama" hahaha.

I laughed it off, but felt quite upset this evening, because I hate having to go back to work so soon, and potentially my DD might be calling her mama on her first words, mum guilt and everything associated.

Is it normal for babies to call their primary carer mama, even it's it's not their parent? Just feeling a bit replaced :(

I have a toddler but never had this problem because he went to nursery at an older age.

I think the CM was just trying to reasure you trying to be funny, you want your baby to bond with the childminder of course they won't be mum but she will attach to her but this is what you want really.

And don't babies say dada first 😀 please don't worry just keep referring to her by name the baby might say mama but it doesn't mean much.

You’re projecting your feelings onto a normal throwaway comment.

My best friend works in a nursery, pretty much all of the little ones (in the baby and toddler room) call the staff Mama or Mum. They do gently correct them, but it’s completely normal for the kids to do this a lot.

Don't be daft. We had a lovely nanny who took care of our kids for years and was literally their second mum and we all called her by her name.

Yes it’s normal - one of my dc called all men she liked ‘dada’ and all women ‘mama’ I think she just felt safe around them and it’s a way to express that ?

She didn’t mean to cause offence. She was trying to reassure you.

Children call me mum at school by accident. They still love their mum.

First words are just sounds made by the baby - they have not generally associated them with people or things until a bit later on and even then they often group things together - so all animals are 'cat' etc.

You are her mother, you will always be her mother. Your CM was trying to reassure you that she will look after your child in the best way she can so that you felt better.

It is so tough having to go back when they are little, it will take a while for you to process and deal with the feelings you will have around this. I think guilt/fear/sadness/anxiety is normal in this situation.

I think she just meant she'd be looking after her in the way a parent would to reassure you.

I spent years as a nanny for one family, literally 24hr care 6 days a week. They saw me far more than their parents. They called their parents mama and dada and me by my name except for the odd slip up (as we all do when distracted!). They’ll know who their mum is. Maybe a silly way of her saying it, but the childminder most likely just meant they’ll be comfortable and happy there once they’re settled.

I used to work in nurseries and was called mummy often.

It’s just the concept to a child that young they dont have the skills to identify and verbalise ‘a woman who looks after me and is kind and caring’ their first example of that is their mother - who they call mama/mummy etc they then just apply that to another caregiver , it’s reassuring in a way she’s so sure that will happen it shows she takes her role seriously

Sounds like she was trying to reassure you.
I'm a CM & yes when babies start to talk they do call me mama but its cos literally that's all they call anyone. They soon learn to attempt my name. You want your baby to have a strong attachment to all their caregivers, its so important for their development BUT trust me your baby will NEVER mistake your CM for you. I have lovely relationships with all the wee ones I look after but I absolutely will never replace or come close to being their mummy or granny & nor do I expect to.