4 month sleep regression help

[newtothis1123]

My 5 month old has been in sleep regression for 6 weeks now. He's waking every 15mn to 1h and I'm completely exhausted. He doesn't sleep for longer than 30mn during the day so no time for me to nap. He's now started to pinch/scratch me when I'm feeding him or holding him which on top of the lack of sleep is testing my patience. I'm seriously thinking of giving up my breastfeeding journey so I can get more help from my husband. Any words of advice please? 🤞

The 4 month sleep regression is a horrendous time, but it is a phase and it will get better, I promise! I honestly wanted to go back to work, the days and nights were relentless!

My main advice would be to ask for help, can your husband take him out in the car/pram for an hour or so so baby can sleep and so can you? Do you have any other family members that can watch him? I was unfortunate as we have absolutely no family near by but my partner helped as much as he could. I got out for fresh air everyday for a change in environment (and a hope she would have more than a 20 minute catnap!) and just remember it won’t last forever ☺️

Did you come through the regression may I ask? :(
I’m in the thick of it and feeling extremely low. Contact naps only in the day. Crib sleep at night but for less than an hour at a time before needing resettling all night long :(

I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling, I know how tough it is! We took longer than I think is average to come out of it and ended up sleep training him at 7 months which honestly is the best thing we could have done. He still wakes up 3 times a night but it's so much better than it was. He also naps in his cot which has made a world of difference to me. It wasn't easy but definitely worth it for both of us as he now gets such a better quality of sleep. I get it's not for everyone though.

Thank you for replying. I would really love to avoid sleep training but that’s me at a few nights into the regression I might be saying different depending on how long this carry’s on for :(
Did your baby just continue night waking every hour or so until you sleep trained at 7 months? Or did it get even slightly better before then? Thank you so much

Not OP but we also only ended the sleep regression by doing Ferber at 7 months.

I was also against it, but sleep was awful. 4 months was terrible, 5 months slightly better but 6 months even worse. I couldn’t drive as I was so tired.

Ferber did the trick in 2 nights and I honestly couldn’t believe it. It was life changing. She went from 2 hourly wake ups to waking up once or twice for a feed. (I still fed her for wake ups after midnight, so we didn’t fully Ferber).

No one sleep trains because they want to - it’s usually done when you’re about to lose your mind from lack of sleep.

See how you get on but don’t feel bad about doing it. She’s 9 months now and sleeps 7:30 - 8:30 with one wake up to 5am usually for 15 mins. It’s the best thing I ever did.

Thank you for your reply
I can’t help but think sleep training at 4 months is just to young :(
At least that’s an option if things don’t improve like you said I’ll be desperate if this goes into months! Did anything help even slightly before you sleep trained? Or was it just awful until then?

@Dfjackson yeh I wouldn’t recommend doing it before 6 months as they’re just so little!

I think it did get a better for awhile at 5 months. We didn’t do anything really, just kept a consistent routine and hoped for the best.

Lots of caffeine and low expectations. It won’t last forever

Thanks so much
did you notice any difference when you started to ween? A few people said starting solids helped with sleep.
Thanks again

@Dfjackson no sadly (and she’s a good eater too!)

I agree with everything Mushroo has said. Consistent routine did help but we didn't see a huge improvement until we sleep trained but agree they need to be at least 6 months old. I was against it too but I had a few comments about how tired my little one looked (as well as how tired I was) and I knew something had to change so he could get the sleep he needed to thrive. He's now 10 months and sleeps 7.30pm to 7.30am with 3 wake ups for a feed. I could probably sleep train him for those overnight feeds but I don't feel there is a need at the moment so happy to just take his lead. We also saw no improvement with weaning (my mum was trying to get me to wean early as was adamant it would help) and no improvement from moving him into his own room. Whatever you end up doing there will be an improvement eventually but just keep your diary relatively clear at the moment so you can have quiet days whilst you're feeling so tired. You'll miss them once your baby starts crawling and climbing!

We also sleep trained lile OP with both DD and DS at 7 months. DD used to wake every 2 hours on the dot and DS was worse so we ended up co sleeping and contact napping which was exhausting. With both our thoughts were we'll try sleep training and if it's horrendous, we stop. Both 'got it' on the first night and slept through ever since. DS is now 10mo and has 2 good hour and a half naps in his cot and sleeps in there all night. I know sleep training isn't for everyone but it saved my sanity and made me a better parent I think and honestly my kids are so much happier now they're getting good quality sleep.

Just wanted to jump on this thread as my little one went through a horrendous sleep regression between 4-6 months and we found some things really helped without having to sleep train. We started him on puréed solids (the ones suitable for 4+ months) which I think helped to curb his appetite so he dropped his night feeds around this time. We also made sure he had white noise during all his naps and used a dummy clip which we used to teach him how to put in himself by handing it to him until he grasped it. We also used blackout blinds and a sleep sack to stop the sun waking him out and him kicking his little legs around and waking himself up!

Honestly he would wake up 20+ times every night between 4-6 months, I even had my own thread about it at the time as it was destroying me! But by seven months he was sleeping through from 7-6.30 without a single wake up and having 2x 90 minute naps per day, he's 10 months now and his sleep has stayed the same, we haven't had any more regressions and he only has his dummy for bed. I hope things get better for you

Hello, just wanted to add that not all sleep training is the same, and not all involves leaving your baby to cry. I did a gentle sleep training method at around 4/5 months because the regression was killing me and the transformation was unbelievable. I never had to leave him to cry once and in less than 2 weeks we were down from waking every hour to 1 nightly feed, which he gradually dropped at around 9 months.

I strongly recommend Hannah Love ('sleep well with hannah') - she has a series of sleep courses which give really clear, consistent methods - we did her 'stop feeding to sleep' on which cost about £50, or she has a more comprehensive course which comes with hands on advice from her. She's also released a book since I had my DS, which I'm sure is great too and obviously cheaper than the course.

Her methods are slower and much gentler than Ferber, and are mostly about consistency and calm confidence from the parent. Honestly I couldn't recommend it enough. She's also got a lovely supportive Facebook community too.

Thank you all so much for your advice! I will definitely look into other sleep training methods.
Baby is definitely not getting the sleep she needs she looks tired all the time :(
This is literally the hardest job in the world isn’t it! Sleep deprivation is breaking me.
I feel like I’ve got so many ‘problems’ to tackle - contact only naps, sleepyhead in the next2me, up every 40 minutes so just end up contact napping all blummin night too!
Did anyone struggle to transition into a cot from cosleeping? She’s barely in her next to me now so may aswell have her cosleeping…she spends the majority of the night on my chest with me sat scrolling mums net to stay awake :( I get around 2 hours a night I don’t know how I’m functioning!

They go through a change in how they sleep around 4 months. However they are getting to sleep, they will need every time they are trying to connect sleep cycles. My first was rocked to sleep because he had reflux and had to be kept upright after feeds. So he needed rocking every time he woke for naps and at night. It got worse and worse and would take agggees. At 6 months we had to sleep train and he got it straight away. My second also is a reflux baby but is able to go into the cot sleepy but awake with a dummy. I’ve noticed if she goes into the cot asleep then the night is worse than if she put herself to sleep. Not an amazing sleeper but better than my son was. Only now I’m noticing the dummy becoming the association so I think that’ll have to go.

sleep training such as Ferber I’d wait til 6 months but you can gently sleep train now. For example really consistent bedtime routine, into the cot sleepy but awake. If baby cries then pick up and cuddle or sooth in the cot.

I was cosleeping until about 10 weeks and then I’d start the night in her cot and take her in when she woke. This became less and less and she’s mostly in her cot now til at least 5am.

Good luck ! Xx

That’s exactly where this has started I think she has been a reflux baby too with dairy sensitivity so I have to hold her on my shoulder after every feed so she just loves to drift off on my shoulder I wait 30 mins then put her in the next to me, but with all these wake ups in the night I just give up and hold her all night :(
When I put her in the next to me drowsy she just gets upset so I pick her up soothe her and try again but just gets upset again
Am I supposed to just keep going?:(

In the gentle method I used, the sleep trainer recommends taking small steps from where you are now to where you want to be, so if right now you were rocking to get baby to sleep, you'd move to holding without moving, then holding lying down cuddling, then in the cot with comforting hands etc. until you gradually get them used to falling asleep in the place you want them to bed.

She also has brilliant tips about reducing feeds over night, as the feeds become associated with sleep rather than needed for food. I managed to get down from 5 or 6 tiny feeds a night to 1 or 2 really good feeds where he got all the milk he needs.

The most important thing is picking a method and sticking with it until they've got used to it then moving on to the next stage, rather than 'trying everything' which just confuses the baby or encourages them to protest/cry more.

It's so hard, I remember that time feeling just impossible, but personally I found it really helpful to have simple gentle rules to follow. Wishing you lots of luck.

Thank you this has really helped me.
Small steps rather than trying everything. You’re so right every night I’m trying all sorts; baby is probably so confused. I will try one step at a time and try and just calm down a bit. I am frantically trying everything being sleep deprived! I’ve asked hubby to book some time off as he works night shifts and my mum to help so hopefully I can have some more support getting through this even just to get her back sleeping for a few hours would help.

Thank you for your advice it means the world to hear off other mums x