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2 and 4 Year Old Boys at Loggerheads

1 reply

FreddieFoxtrot · 19/04/2024 04:45

Hi guys - mum of two boys (2 and 4) here. Both turn 3 and 5 in October and July respectively.

Lately they really haven't been getting on, to the point where we constantly have to intervene as it gets physical. It normally stems from the 2 year old getting overexcited and hitting my eldest (to which he retailates), or from youngest stealing toys or knocking over towers, etc.

They're very much treated in the same way (as far as we can in terms of age appropriateness) and recieve one on one time with both of us. We've tried getting them to do bonding, reward good behaviour etc. Not working too much atm.

It's a shame as they do demonstrate moments of closeness, but at the moment it's just seems to always descend into an argument. In my heart of hearts I think this is just an age related thing and think it will pass, but wanted to see if anyone has experienced something similar. If so, what did you do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Wellwishing · 19/04/2024 05:37

Rewards don't work. They increase competition and fail to foster intrinsic motivation to behave 'well' and model relationships based on coercion.

Highly recommend the books if you can manage to. Audible is how I listen to them, whilst doing chores.

Calm Parents, Happy Siblings - Probably most useful for you ATM
The Book You Wish your parents had read
How to talk so little kids will listen
Hunt, gather, parent

Some great tactics from these include things like validation, redirection, how to neutralise arguments, promote problem solving by them

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