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My 9 month old baby girl cries everytime I talk to her

8 replies

Gemmar000 · 17/04/2024 20:20

Hi, my baby is 9 months old and she has always been a weird baby with me but for the past 4 months or so, its gotten to the point where my baby will cry and sometimes scream at me. Every time I try and talk to her, she just turns her head away and then when I do get her attention, she just looks at me and cries to the point where she starts screaming. Im starting to think that she doesnt like my voice. It's literally impossible to get her to smile at me, I can make her laugh but that's by tickling her. She then rubs her eyes after a while too, but I don't think it's due to overstimulation as this happens from the minute she wakes up til she goes to bed. She has enough sleep at night and during the day. And when people comes over, people she doesnt really know, she gets excited and tries to communicate with them, and smiles. And it makes me feel a bit sad. She communicates with her dad aswell, who she sees just as much as me so I'm confused why she is the way she is with me. She seems to have more fun on the floor, so I've gotten to that point, of just leaving her on the floor with her toys. And she's quiet then, and then only cries when she wants to be fed (bottle feeding). I can't seem to make her feel better either, she falls asleep on me but that only lasts 10 mins and then she starts crying again. I just feel like a rubbish mum. Any advice, please? I'm at breaking point.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
INeedNewShoes · 17/04/2024 20:27

You're not a rubbish mum. You sound like a mum who is sussing out what your baby responds to and trying to do your best for her. FWIW my baby DD spent quite a bit of time entertaining herself at this age as she was very content to do so so it seemed daft to meddle with that.

I don't have any experience of this but my first port of call would be your health visitor. I know not everyone rates their health visitor but ours was brilliant at helping with anything that cropped up.

I wonder if she has some sound sensitivity and maybe the frequency of your voice hits on it. Maybe a hearing check would be useful (HV should be able to sort this for you).

MumChp · 17/04/2024 20:55

I am sure youbare a great mum doing a great job. Sometimes babies are just weird.. I would talk to HV.

Newsenmum · 17/04/2024 20:57

Her looking away sounds like tired/overstimulated as does the eye rubbing. Perhaps she needs more sleep somehow? Some children just need a lot more.

Or are you wearing a perfume that is irritating her?

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Lijay · 17/04/2024 20:57

Great shout from pp to get a hearing check. If that gets ruled out though I just want i give you some reassurance that although not exactly the same, I went through a long phase of thinking my son hated me. I can't remember exactly when it started but it was before he was one. He would squirm away from me and cry until his dad held him. I cried over it a lot. I would look after him all day and then it felt like he was only happy when his dad was home or someone else was with him. I remember picking him up from my parents house after I had been at work all day and he pushed me away and hugged tight to my mum. I cried driving home. There's much more examples like that but i think I've mentally blocked them out. BUT it did change and tbh I've only just really realized it when reading your post. He's 18 months now and obsessed with his mum. Gives me 100 cuddles and kisses a day. Doesn't stop saying. Mumum. It was tough trying to ignore him pushing me away etc but you'll get though it.
I read a lot about it being because we are their safe space etc and they feel comfortable expressing themselves. I don't know if it's true. It didn't feel like that's what it was to me but hang in there. Those cuddles will be extra sweet.

tarheelbaby · 17/04/2024 20:59

As PP said, babies can be tricky. Well done for noticing what your baby does and doesn't like. Also, even though it may be tough for you, well done for letting her do what suits her best.

Definitely see your HV or even GP to talk about what's happening for more input.

FortofPud · 17/04/2024 21:03

Could you try mainly having time looking and smiling at her without talking, maybe even start some signing so you can communicate in a different way with her?

parietal · 17/04/2024 21:08

If she sits on your lap and you read a book together, i.e. you read aloud and point, does she cry? maybe she finds your face too intense and would prefer activities along-side you.

fedupandstuck · 17/04/2024 21:11

I would try alongside activities or her on your lap looking at a book together. See if she has the same response to your voice then.

The looking away, eye rubbing and crying do seem very much like tiredness. Does she sleep enough overall?

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