Baby struggling at nursery

[Maybaby1994]

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice and a bit of reassurance really. I have an almost 1 year old who has been going to nursery 2 days a week since late February. First few weeks he was great and didn't think twice about being handed over but the last 2 weeks dropping him off has been awful as he's just cried every time.

Whenever I pick him up of late as well I'm being told he's been unsettled and up and down and I just feel really crap that he isn't enjoying it. The girls who have him are so lovely and have explained that this is completely normal but I just feel really sad that he isn't enjoying it as much as I'd hoped he would?

Is it because he's gotten to an age where he's a bit clingier compared to when he first started? I know he's cutting two teeth at the moment as well so that definitely won't be helping, but just wondering if anyone has any advice? I really just want him to enjoy himself when he's there, it's a really lovely nursery.

Bump

Sorry. I ended up becoming an SAHM for a few years because DD hated nursery. After nearly a year of distress enough was enough. She never warmed to it. (DS loved nursery from day 1 so it obviously depends on the child).

Does it make any difference how you do the drop-off? I tend to stay with my kids for a bit to help them settle and have not left them to cry whilst I leave, even if it meant I was late for work (when it was possible or within reason, obviously).

Even now they still really struggle at drop-off (3 and 4.5 - sorry...) and even cry now and then when I drop them off. It gets easier with time.

I'm going to take a different tack – yes, some babies/toddlers really don't take to nursery and it isn't the right environment for them. Many more have a difficult patch early on, get through it, and go on to be completely fine. Right now, it's early days, and the staff are saying it's completely normal. If they're good, experienced staff, I'd trust them and not do anything dramatic. Both of mine were a bit of a tricky settle (DD1 more so), and at 4 and 2, we've long since reached the stage of them running down the hall/into the garden without a backward glance.

Does he have a cuddly toy he's attached to? (If he doesn't, pick one and start cuddling it with him when you have cuddles, feed him, etc.) Both my daughters had their cuddlies almost constantly in the early days. As far as possible, nursery tried to make sure I handed them over to the same person when drop-offs were difficult, so they had that little extra bit of consistency. Are they asking what his favourite songs/books/activities are, so they can use those to tempt him?

If he's teething and uncomfortable, that definitely won't be helping. What are nursery's rules around teething meds? I've sent anbesol with mine, for example.

My daughter was exactly the same. Started nursery at a year old (two days a week, Monday and Tuesday) and the first month or so, drop off was fine but then she really got upset going in. Nursery used to send me a picture once she was inside and she was absolutely fine, and loving life!

This lasted about 2 or so months, and then she was absolutely fine going in, and she goes in without so much of a backwards glance and a goodbye 😂

I put it down to the first month or so it being a novelty but then she realised that she's actually leaving me and I think that's what upset her. Nursery said it's quite common for children to take a little longer to settle where there's a big break between days and suggested changing from Mon-Tues to a Mon-Weds or Thurs so there's less break. Unfortunately due to work I couldn't but might be something for you to consider.

Sending my best wishes and hope your little one settles in, I know how hard it is to leave them when they're so upset so you have my sympathies xxx

Two days is tough, they don't get long enough there to feel comfortable before they're away again for five days back at home with mum and dad.

Also from memory I think that's a very normal age for separation anxiety. Add in the teething and it's perhaps not surprising.

I'd persist and possibly add a day if you can.