Anxious about pfb starting nursery

[ru53]

Hello everyone, just looking for some reassurance really about baby starting nursery 4 days a week (yes it’s my first.)

I’ve been quite ‘baby led’ so far with her, breast feeding on demand, only recently knocked feeding to sleep on the head, so I know she can nap without it but it can be hard. Takes a lot of rocking and shushing - up to half an hour - surely the nursery staff won’t have time for that?

Also not sure what to do about breastfeeding, she still has 2-3 feeds within what will be nursery hours. I guess they will just be replaced with cows milk as she will be one by the time she starts.

The nursery seems really lovely and I do think she will love it, she’s very social. It just seems like such a big change and she’s still so small - does anyone have any tips to make the transition easier?

You could send in expressed milk if you wanted, but otherwise yes it will be cows milk. I didn't bother expressing after they turned 1, it was too much faff! They were straight on to cows milk at nursery. Be prepared for possibly more breastfeeding in the evenings and overnight, as she might make up the breastfeeding then.

Sleep I wouldn't worry about. Children behave differently at nursery. DD1 would only nap in a pram for us (rocked to sleep then left stationary in the living room, or out and about) but would nap perfectly happily in a bed at nursery 🙄

Yes she'll be quite different when you're not in the environment. Sleeping might take a couple of days but it's very routine and she'll soon get used to it.

I'm not sure she'll get loads of milk at nursery unless you request it/ send it in. More likely to have it morning/evening with you, and then meals at nursery with a sippy cup of milk or water. Do check what their plan is for milk and whether it's what you want.

Most nurseries will be a bit less baby-led and more routine-led about what happens when, but they should also meet each individual child's needs. What usually happens is that babies behave differently for different people. E.g. plenty of babies feed to sleep with mum and refuse to do otherwise, but they behave differently if dad or gran does bedtime, they don't smell milk or have the same expectations from being held and rocked by a different person. So they adapt and behave differently at nursery and may end up following a different routine.

Nursery staff are miracle workers, I genuinely do not know how they do it.

DS1 started nursery at 9 months old, was breastfed and had never taken a bottle, didn’t sleep without being fed to sleep and had really short sleep cycles. Within a week, he was sleeping for 1-2 hours, settling almost immediately with a couple of pats and drinking expressed milk from a bottle.

We continued breastfeeding till 17 months and he did reverse cycle for the first few weeks, but only needed a feed in the morning and one before bed only by 12 months.

I know it's hard to believe before she starts, but all will be magically fine. Babies are way more adaptable than we think. I was also worried when mine started, at 9 months, but all worked out so well!
Mine also was rocked to sleep all the time at around that age, but at nursery he would just fall asleep after a quick cuddle or holding his key person's hand. I never figured out how that happened but so many of my friends had the same experience. I think it's a mix of being more stimulated by the new environment and therefore more tired and a person different than mummy/daddy doing it in a different way, so they just adapt. In our nursery the ration in the baby room was 1:3 but children this age are frequently ill when they start nursery, and the nursery manager was helping as well, so often it was a 1:1 really.

About food, they will just accommodate any of your preferences. If you prefer to ease the transition to cow milk and use expressed milk or formula, they should be able to do that. If you have time to introduce cow milk at home before she starts that will be even better.
I used to give him a last feed (breastfed baby) before dropping him at around 9 and then feed him again first thing after returning home, then following our usual routine at the time. I asked them to use formula at nursery. Gradually my milk supply reduced and I stopped breastfeeding when he was 15 months (at that point he was also starting to bite me and he was drinking cow milk during the day, so it all felt ok).

My daughter started nursery at 9 months two days a week only fed or walked to sleep. Day one she fell asleep in their arms within a few minutes and then was popped into a cot for her naps.

At 13 months we increased her to 5 days a week and by day 4 they were commenting on how much more settled she was compared to 2 days a week which resolved some of my guilt about trying for full time. In the end we settled down on 4 days but this was for my health rather than anything else.

Might help if you say how old your child is

@MrsJamin she did

Don’t worry it will be fine. Both of mine were bf or rocked to sleep but they slept just fine at nursery and quickly settled into their naps. First couple of weeks were tough as they also used to breastfed 2-3 times during the day so I did have to pick up early to bf. As they settled they just ate more food and drank water and were fine - and nursery are constantly feeding them! I had same experience as pp with reverse cycling with both kids, so be prepared for that.

Oh thank you everyone so much every reply has honestly helped me to feel better about it all. I will have a think on some of the suggestions as well. I am looking forward to it as well in some ways, it’s just a big change!