My teeth brushing refusenik

[LunaModule]

DD is 2 and a half. She was a late bloomer with teeth as she didn't get her first one until she was around 13 months. When she was smaller, she'd let me brush her teeth whilst sitting on my lap watching Peppa Pig. Then she started refusing to do her teeth. We then brought her a Yoto for Christmas and managed over the course to get up to about 90 seconds of us brushing by using their toothbrush setting and it was brilliant.

Unfortunately we then moved house and it took us ages to locate the Yoto in the chaos. So we got out ot the habit of using it. For the last month she has point blank refused to do her teeth. She will run, hide, kick, bury her head in you so you can't quite manoeuvre her. The battle goes on and on that it's actually distressing. She's brushed her teeth once this week. This morning I cried in frustration. I have tried the following:

1. Reading a pop up book about brushing teeth
2. Brushing teddy's teeth
3. Making it into a game as she's obsessed with it being her turn at anything
4. Different flavour toothpaste
5. Different colour toothbrush
6. Buying a Peppa Pig toothbrush and toothpaste (she adores Peppa.)
7. Pretending the teddy has told me how good she is at tooth brushing
8. Reward chart
9. Huge praise for even ten seconds of the brush being in her mouth.

I don't know if she's picked up on how stressed we've been (there is a lot going on in our lives right now which is part of the reason we've had to move.) She has co-slept with me every night since moving as well so I don't know if this is a way of her feeling in control.

I am at my wits end please help!!

I'm pretty gentle in my approach to most aspects of parenting but you've got yourself into a mess pandering to this. Teeth brushing is non negotiable twice a day (even if it's not always for that long, a toothbrush and toothpaste needs to go in her mouth). She's plenty small enough to pin her arms down and do it yourself if needs be. No more faffing, clear instruction, she does it or you do it. Her choice. One or two meltdowns and she'll probably get on with it herself.

No negotiating with teeth in this house, they got cleaned the easy way or ds was wrapped in a towel after his bath so he couldn't struggle and it was a lot easier the more he opened his mouth to protest!

Either they do it the easy way - sitting nicely, mouth open wide, or they get pinned down. Either way the teeth are getting brushed.

No negotiations going on here when my 2.5 doesn't want to brush her teeth. I may sometimes try again 5 mins later if she ever did get very upset. But otherwise it's done.

Bedtime is easier as she's wrapped up in a towel like a straight jacket 🤣

But if I'm honest it's only now and again she may say no to it.

I took no prisoners with teeth, it was a non-negotiable. That meant sometimes she was on a bed pinned down by a leg and had her teeth brushed whilst screaming (easier as her mouth was already open).

She's not traumatised and might complain about brushing (shes 4 now) but does it as she understands she has to.

Same with medicines. Some things just aren't choices.

I’m afraid when one of my DC went through a phase at a similar age of refusing it went to pin down time. Nobody’s idea of a good time but I was motivated by a friend’s take of how she didn’t do this when her child refused, little tooth brushing got done over a long period and ended up with cavities. Let’s be realistic 2.5 year olds can’t understand the consequences of “your teeth will rot if you don’t” They’re just interested in the now.

Anyway the Dc learnt soon enough that it was going to happen regardless so eventually gave it and could have a reward chart sticker for actively allowing us to do it rather than saying no and being pinned down.

It’s one of the non-negotiables, even if that means being more forceful than you’d like.
Alternative may be hospital extractions in years to come.

I agree with the above posters. Teeth brushing, being strapped into car seats and vaccinations is not something that they have the right to refuse. (Unlike eating sprouts, which any wise toddler definitely refuses.)

It's the hard bit of parenting. It is horrid to pinion a screaming, crying, fighting toddler in real distress. But these are the occasions you have to do it.

Yeah this is going to be doing it the hard way. Wrap them in a towel to pin their limbs, if you can do a united front it helps, one that someone can pin their head too and the other brushes. It should be short time they are not happy. Sadly we can't parent from making our children happy otherwise they would never go to bed and eat chocolate all day.

It is non-negotiable because the alternative is she ends up having a general anaesthetic to remove rotten teeth. That will be much worse.

You need to stop all the pandering. It is just part of the routine twice a day. These are battles you will fight and hate but you have to win.

I brushed my DD teeth pinned down when she was 1 and started moving around a lot but They got cleaned twice a day. now at 2.9 she wakes up, uses toilet and gets up on a stool to brush her teeth. Its all about strict routine. I let her brush on her own but then I do it myself telling her that I am making sure everything is cleaned properly and she lets me do it. At this age she is very good at spitting out toothpaste and gargling as well. No compromise on oral hygiene.

So glad I've read these replies because as my 1 year old was laying on the bathroom floor this morning while I pinned his arms between my knees and cleaned his teeth while he howled at me I felt like the shittest parent alive.

Also had big battles with my two year old resulting in horrible pinning down. The one thing that got DC to start willingly brushing them was a talk from my dad, who said something like 'when I was little I didn't brush the germs off my teeth and they ate little holes in my teeth and it hurt.' Total horror at the idea of germs eating teeth (and familiar with the word as we use with hand washing) so now more or less happy to have teeth brushed. If we ever have a non-compliant day, I point and say 'URGH I SAW A GERM ON YOUR TOOTH, QUICK LETS GET IT OFF.' Also we don't have breakfast until teeth are brushed and we all do it together in the morning which I think they like. They help get everyone's toothbrushes ready. The Blippi toothbrush song I think mentions germs so reinforces that idea. Very annoying to listen to though.
Good luck.

It's an non-negotiable task in our house. If we have to pin her down we do but it is the absolute last resort. She has severe reflux and 3 of her molars are damaged and she has a small cavity in one of her teeth.
Consistently being no nonsense has helped. Around August time we were probably having to pin her down once or twice a week. We have done it once maybe twice since Christmas!

In August we brought in a a star chart of teeth cleaning and very good teeth cleaning. A big box of coloured crayons and she picked the colour. For good cleans I drew a stick star and for very good I did an outline for her to colour in. We did this reliably for 4 weeks and as remembered for another 4 weeks by which time she was more in the habit of absolutely having to have her teeth cleaned.
At Christmas she got an electric toothbrush brush and that was a novelty for a few weeks once that wore off she did tooth cleaning videos on YouTube. We have best success when she is leaning back about about 30deg angle her bean bag or pillows and her looking straight ahead so with the tilt looking over our shoulders. You get good visibility without her having to open superwide. She has adult toothpaste based on recommendations from the dentist which aren't the nicest of taste and but by half way down the tube she was used to it. Our evening routine includes running extra toothpaste on her molars before sleep to give them a bit of extra protection from reflux overnight. If you aren't getting good tooth cleaning it might help to give a bit of extra protection too.

She has dental checkups every 3 months and the regular nature means she still remembers the last visit so that's a useful reminder that the dentist wants to see nice sparkly teeth when we see them.

We also have restricted her diet to remove foods that are hard on teeth. If you are not getting good reliable teeth cleaning I would be extra cautious about foods too to mitigate damage.

You might feel bad to force your little one to brush their teeth but the guilt when hearing one of their perfect tiny teeth are damaged let alone 3 breaks you heart - even when in our case it was for a reason beyond my control

We have the unenviable task of cleaning granddaughter’s teeth on the two days she is with us. She is 3 and a half. Granddad holds her while I get the brush in. Once I start she settles down. She says she hates the toothpaste but her parents have tried all sorts and she hates them all. Quickly followed by a damp flannel to spit into and a glass of water. Yes, non negotiable, and all forgotten once done.

This.

Try the Disney Magic Timer App. We have two children who really didn't like their teeth brushed and it helped tremendously.

Its the worst. Wrapping then in a towel like a burrito and just getting the job done was the only way through it for us. It does pass eventually. Currently facing massive bath/shower resistance. More fun times!

Teeth brushing, medicine, car seats, baths and sun cream are all non negotiable in this house. We’ve had to pin our kids down to get them done when they’ve gone through a tricky stage and I’ve felt no guilt whatsoever.

100% non negotiable. The only thing that is in our house.

They'll eventually get bored of the fight and being pinned twice a day. Or they'll grow out of it in the end.

Just get stuck in. Firm grip, wait for a squeal and then get to work while the gobasheen is open. They will hate you for it for 30 seconds, but thank you for it in their teens when their teeth have no cavities. Once you've broken their spirit, it gets easier and they well resist less. 👍