I’m a mum to a 13 year old. Ex is a 50/50 co-parent, when it suits him, we’ve been separated 8 years, divorced for 3.
He pays maintenance but the situation is driving me insane, here’s some of his recent antics
His scheduled mid-week overnight stays, day before, tells me he can’t have her. And I need to sort it.
We have an agreement of both taking 2 weeks leave through the summer hols. He’s just announced that while I’m away with our daughter in August, he’s also going away, so will not be taking time off separately to take daughter away.
daughter is an elite swimmer, I volunteer for her club on competition weekends so even if it’s his weekend, I’m there. I make it clear, he’s responsible for daughter - making sure she eats, drinks etc as it’s his weekend.
She wants a snack - it’s go ask your mum. She wants a drink - it’s go ask your mum.
he drinks a lot, daughter hates it. I’ve told her she’s old enough (13) to make her own choices now on how much time she spends there. She doesn’t enjoy going, he puts no effort into their relationship if it means getting off his backside and actually doing something other than going for pub lunches. The only reason she still goes as much as she does is because she doesn’t want to upset him and feels guilty.
the examples above are literally just from this week. This is every single week, something happens where he boils my blood. He prioritises his social life over our daughter all the time, but then kicks off if she has plans when it’s his weekend and wants me to take her to whatever is scheduled (like birthday parties etc)
I really want to tell him he can’t have her as much but I know daughter will feel guilty and he will make my life hell. He’s a narcissist.
from the outside looking in, he looks like an amazing dad. But the emotional turmoil is horrendous.
sorry for the long post but I’m at the end of my tether with him and have no idea what to do!