Baby morning routine - am I doing it wrong?

[007mummy]

Looking for some advice please!

My baby boy is 6 months old (4 months correct as was 2 months premature).

He was initially exclusively breastfed but now combi fed with only formula at bedtime and during the night. He's never slept through the night always woke for feed/s since we got him home from the hospital.

He doesn't get fed at the same time every day, sometimes goes 3 or 4 hours between feeds so I don't feel he's in a routine that way anyway but works for us during the day. But bedtime is always roughly the same time (usually 7.30-8.30) and he looks to go to bed so we give him a bottle before bed and he goes to sleep no problem (most times!)

Now once he's fed at bed time he usually wakes after 4ish hours, feed him and he goes back to sleep. After this feed it's a mystery, sometimes he goes 3/4/5 even 7 hours(!!) it is very unpredictable.

I'm just trying to figure out when his actual morning wake up time is? Eg last night he woke up at 1am, got fed and back to sleep. He then woke at 5.30am fed and back to sleep. He then woke at 8.30am, was calm and babbling I managed to change nappy etc but then he got fed around 9 and literally fell sound asleep afterwards and was rubbing eyes and so I put him back into his bed and he went back to sleep. It's now 10.15am and he's still asleep!

Did I do wrong? I feel like every other baby is up at 7am/8am and that's them getting up and fed and dressed but my baby wants to sleep. Is it because he doesn't sleep through the night?

Just looking for some thoughts and advice please! X

This sounds awesome! Mornings with a sleeping baby is awesome. Some wake at 6 am - absolute torture.

i think you’re doing everything right and just enjoy this! No concerns! Babies sleep, some babies don’t. A best friends kid slept till 11 am. That was his thing. It was glorious.

You’re not doing anything wrong - you’re doing what works for you. When you want your baby to wake less at night, you can try putting them into a bit of a routine during the day which should help (but doesn’t always, I know from friends experiences!). I used the EASY baby whisperer routine with my two babies as it was much more relaxed than Gina Ford style regimented routines, but gave the results I wanted and the babies rarely cried because I knew roughly when they would want feeds or naps. They slept through from about 9-10 weeks old, both exclusively breast fed, but I was very lucky with that - firstborn was a very unpredictable waker at night until he was 8 weeks (might wake twice or might wake ten times for feeds), whereas the second one was born having read the textbook and woke every 3 hours on the dot for feeds. By 4 months they were roughly feeding every 4 hours (except during growth spurts when they would feed just ALL the time). So approximate routine was up at 7:30/8am, feed, play, nap at 9am to 10am (in the car on the way somewhere if needed), awake at 10/10:30ish fed at 11am, down for a nap at 12ish til 2/2:30pm. Awake, feed and play til 4ish then a short nap til 5pm, and then awake, play, bath, feed and bed at 7pm. Older one would happily sleep 13 hours, younger one was never more than 11.5 or 12 hours overnight and used to wake slightly earlier in the mornings at 6:30/7am. I wasn’t strict about staying at home for naps, and they often napped in the sling out and about for walks etc, or in the pram or car. But it was roughly the same times most days as that suited them. PS. I never got my babies dressed, they wore babygros all the time as it was so much easier and no-one cares if a baby is wearing pyjamas or not.

There’s no right or wrong, if it works for you and he’s happy then that’s fine. My son was never a 7-7 baby, even now at 6 his default setting is 10 pm until 8.30 am ish. He didnt sleep
thru until he was 4 and didn’t nap much either. That’s just who he is and no amount of trying to force a different routine changed than

He sounds wonderful, they are all so different. I hope you’re getting some rest when he is asleep 💕

It all sounds perfectly normal. Babies don’t normally sleep through the night. At 6 months old they still need 12-16 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period.

for feeding, breast milk is easy for their stomachs to digest so may need feeding more often. If given formula it takes longer to digest so could go longer between feeds.

My little girl is now 18 months. She goes to bed between 9 and 10 and wakes up for the day between 8 and 10 depending how she has slept. (If I’m working it’s different) she still wakes several times to feed. Has one big feed around 4am but regularly stirs for milk through the night.

Every baby is different and if it is working for you I wouldn’t worry.

Every kid is different- do what works for you and yours and it is probably different to the next family’s schedule! No one is right or wrong it’s what works for your family.

But one thing for sure is that one days naps will be down to two a day, then 1 and maybe none. Right now I’ve been entertaining DD all day with a very short nap that was hours ago. I just had to pull her away from the rubbish bin and she threw a fit. Then a second later she’s across the room emptying a drawer.

She has so much energy and no rest for mummy until tonight 😁I miss those long naps she used to have lol.

You just got lucky and have a baby who likes sleep
his routine sounds perfect - for him
he is being fed on demand and allowed to sleep when it is right for him
he's only 4 months! Things may change in the next few weeks when the regression hits but sounds like he's doing wonderful xx

I have four kids. I have always let them sleep/eat whenever they wanted to, and got on with life around them. The younger kids had to come along on school runs etc, but if they were sleeping at school run time I didn't wake them, just tried to transfer them to the car etc.

Eventually they sleep less and then then the start to fit into your routine of meals (probably with extra snacks) and then nursery/school imposes a morning wake up time .... I guess I let life gradually dictate the schedule when it was unavoidable!

If it works for you, then go with it. As long as you're responding to your baby, he will know when he is hungry and when he is tired, and it will all be fine.

There is definitely no right or wrong so don’t worry.

I remember my midwife saying to me, never wake a sleeping baby! It’s the only chance you get to yourself to rest, wash or eat so embrace it!

But if you do want a proper structured routine, you can’t ignore the day time. As with adults, how well and how long you sleep for during the night is down to how your day had been. So if you stick to a strict daytime routine, your nights and early mornings will fall into a better routine.

You’re not doing anything wrong!

It sounds like you are following your baby’s lead and doing exactly what he needs, when he needs it. In my opinion, that’s the best way to parent. If your current ‘routine’ works for you then stick with it. Don’t worry about other babies, they’re all different and they change so frequently. Enjoy your little one 🥰.

I'd look at wake windows for his age and try and follow that. I loved huckleberry

To me that sleep at 9am sounded like the first nap of the day. When my daughter was that age we did sleep training and I stuck to a really regimented nap schedule. Appreciate it doesn’t work for everyone but it worked for us. She would normally get up somewhere between 6.30-7. I’d give her breakfast do a bit of playing and then she would have her first nap out of three at 9am, for 45 mins. Second nap would be just after lunch for 2 hours and then third one would be a quick 30 mins at 3.30 ish. Bath at 6.45, then bed about 7.15.

i don’t think there’s any right and wrong answers as all babies are different and you’ve got to work out what works for your family. But to me that nap at 9am was fine. It’s surprising how much babies need to sleep! You could always experiment with different nap times and see what suits you all

Also it’s up to you to a certain extent. Some people love a routine and a good way to start heading towards one is waking baby up at the same time each morning and then their naps may slowly start to fall into some predictably. I would personally take any sleep going and either use it to snooze myself or do stuff without holding a baby! I hate having to wake my second baby now as she has to come along for the ride for her big brother’s preschool drop offs but I guess that’s the fate of being a younger sibling!

Mine woke up for ages around 4-5am for a bottle then went back to sleep. Every child is different but it’s hard not to compare. My Son finally gave up that bottle after I returned to work so it went on for a bit. My daughter is still a pain in the ass in the night at 2 1/2.

My daughter is 3. She is my first and only child. I spent much of the first 6 months of her life clock watching and tracking her every waking and sleeping move, and I really wish I had just gone with the flow. They really don't have a routine at this point. They have not developed a circadian rhythm and will just eat and sleep as they need to. You're not doing anything wrong at all. If it's working for you, keep doing it. I recommend checking out Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram. She is awesome for normalising baby sleep. I've found so much solace in her posts.

My son is around the same age and we always just did whatever he seemed to want - fed when he seemed hungry and slept when he felt tired. Our health visitor suggested the Gina Ford Contented Little Baby book, as an idea.

I know she's not popular on MN! I bought the book and have been following it loosely! We don't let him cry it out or anything like that, really just follow the routines/timings, but adapt as we go. Might be worth having a look, just to see what sort of feeding/sleeping times might work for you? Our son adapted really quickly!

Don't worry you're doing great, babies are people just like us, some people like to be up early and some don't, some sleep more than others, some like routine more than others. I felt super smug with my first, he had a fairly strict routine which worked for us both and slept through the night at ten weeks. I told everyone about my amazing parenting, it's just a case of creating a sleepy space, following the routine, i would say- I was a real d*ck. Baby 2 arrived, she did whatever she wanted, she woke every hour or 2 in the night till she was 8 months old, she wouldn't fall asleep at bedtime, some days she was hungry, others she wasn't fussed. My children are 8 and 6 yrs old now, my son is still a sleepy and quiet soul who likes a routine and my youngest is wild, always up early loves change and is always doing her own thing.
So long as he's fed, happy, developing and you're happy and doing ok, just let it be and ignore anyone comparing!

My instant reply from your title before I even read your post was no you are not doing anything wrong. Then I read your post and still nope not doing anything wrong. As long as baby is fed, changed, happy, loved then throw the clock and the schedule out the window, do what works for your family

My baby is almost 5 months and she's the same. She's slept through about 3 times. She will often go until around 5.30am, feed and then go back for 2/3 hours. I count the 7.30/8.30am as her actual morning awake time.

I find roughly following awake windows helps. So at her age it's around 75 to 120 mins between naps. Though some times she drops off again in the morning after 60 mins. My oldest child was not generally like this and by the same age was up earlier in the day.

Im more than happy to have one that prefers a bit of a lay in this time. They are all very different x

On the advice of a Health Visitor I started to put my twins back to bed at about 9.30 every morning. It saved my life.
They would wake about 5.30 -6am, then be ready for a solid nap around 9.30. It meant that it didn't matter if they had a solid afternoon nap or just a little one as they had already banked up a good load of sleep.
If your LO needs to sleep in the am then go with it

Have you spoken to a professional. Maybe he needs to start on solids.

Try the 2,3,4 routine! After 1st morning wake up, you put them down for a nappy after 2hrs, then when they wake up, next nap in 3 hours, then when they wake up, bedtime in 4 hours.
We implemented this when out little one was about 8 or 9 months, and it changed our life! Although we do 2,3,3 as he had a really long afternoon sleep.
He now almost self settles for bed and only ever Wakes up once, either 1am or 4am, then up at either 6 or 7

This is magic compared to our 2.5year old who doesn't ever sleep 😴

The night time seems quite normal, my 7 month old is much the same. And if your quite happy with that in the morning then just let it happen, one day you will be praying for them to go back to sleep and they just never will ever again 🤣 if you want more of a routine then just start getting him up and dressed and keep him awake so that he has at least a 2 hour wake window. I really don’t think it’s an issue though, I say enjoy it while it lasts, drink a cup of tea in peace.

If you want to follow a routine, I used the contented little baby book by Gina Ford. It totally worked and I had all 3 of my boys sleeping 12 hrs by 6 months. The routine is quite strict though and restrictive in that it was difficult to go out and run errands etc until it was well established but it definitely did the trick and I knew where I was then too.