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24 replies

BeMyLilBaby · 30/03/2008 20:53

young parents on here? i did look for atopic on it but there isnt one?i only ask as i hope to be a parent soon (currently TTC) and will be a young parent (or considered relatvely young in my area), just wondered if there were any people out ther similar age to myself (21) who are parents/TTC and have any advice/experiences to share?Also weather younger mothers have found it easy to get back into work?

I have a feeling my family will be supportive but shocked, as DP and i have been together 5 years, have house together etc.

hope to hear from someone x

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TheArmadillo · 30/03/2008 21:13

I had my ds (now 3.5) at 21. Difference was I didn't expect to get pregnant

Was living with dp and had been together about 4 years then, living together for 3.

Ds was the best thing that ever happened to us. I was a wild child during my teenage years so (so far) have never had the sense that I am missing out.

Bad points are -

None of my friends are having kids. One did, but moved far away. This is hard sometimes, though my now 2 best mates do actually understand what it is like and are more than tolerant of ds (they enjoy spending time with him). However I have lost contact with most hte others. Everyone warns you about it and you think 'it won't happen to me'. It does. Maybe not immediately. These were very good longstanding friends. But having a child limits you to a certain extent and it changes what you actually want to do/enjoy. They weren't very child tolerant and had little idea of what it entailed.

I don't really know anyone my age with kids - they are all much older at ds preschool etc, though this depends on where you live. I really don't like that.

Dp took about a year to adjust (though other things were happening that made it difficult). Now he's a better parent than I am

I went back to uni when ds was 1 and finished my degree. It is hard enough to get graduate job as it is and tbh there was no chance without me being willing to work all hours under the sun and travelling around country. I was not prepared to do that.

I have a job I enjoy with career prospects, but it doesn't pay much and I'm not using my degree.

Different people have different experiences though.

My parents still treat me as a child, and so do certain family memebers - but they prob would do if I was 10 years older.

Money wise - we are def not established - esp in careers. We are still at the beginning. This has put us off having another for now, because of the expense. And that one is easy- more would be more complex juggling.

OVerall I think ds was the best descision we ever made and I'm glad I had him at 21.

cheesesarnie · 30/03/2008 21:15

blimey where i live 21 is concideres midle aged parenting wise

kayzisbroody · 30/03/2008 21:20

Same here Cheesesarnie.

I was 20 when I had ds. He was very much planned.

Going back to work was very hard for me as I'd much rather be at home with ds(went back to work last August and I still hate it) but I fitted right back in. No one had changed while I'd been on maternity leave and the job was exactly the same.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

BeMyLilBaby · 30/03/2008 21:32

thanks for your thoughts

in my area 21 is considered mature parent as (and perhaps this is a generalisation) my area seems to have alot of sinbgle young parent (16 upwards) families, and as far asd social perceptions go im not worried what they think!! i know im gonna be a great mum and both DP and i are more than ready so thats gd

i know my family will support us and i wont be babied, i never have been.

Career wise i have a gd job and i have gd prospects ther which would continue after ML if i wanted, my DP also has a great job with prospects that would hopeully provide for us accomodating a part-time return to work so although they money side would be a worry (isnt it always) we are plannng for that.

as for freiends, the friends that ive kept are all having there mown kids, most are older than me tho but a close friend is my age so i think that, that combined with attending groups would be a gd way to combat possible friend loss, i spose i feel quite confident there.

i spose i was jsut checking others experiences, and would love to hear more even if not positive x

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shelleylou · 30/03/2008 21:36

I had my ds at 20 hes now just under 17 months. Unlike the other posters he wasnt planned, some very nice registrars and consulatants told me i couldnt have kids so i was very shocked as was ds's dad as he didnt want another child at that time. We werent together long so it wasnt ideal circumstances.
I went back to work part time for a little while as family members agreed to have ds whilst i was at work. It was only a few hours a day and i much rather being a SAHM. Circumstances changed so it was more difficult to find someone to have ds and dad and i split up so i had to leave. Im now looking at going to college in september to get a diploma and go back to work from there.

BeMyLilBaby · 30/03/2008 21:38

thanks shelley lou x

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shelleylou · 30/03/2008 21:41

not a problem wish you all the best.

poppypoppet123 · 30/03/2008 21:42

I was 20 when i had dd we did not plan her and we both still lived with parents although we had been together for 5 years.
I was 22 when we had ds1 and 24 whan we had ds2.

For us having dd was a good descision we got straight on the housing ladder and brought are own house something we would not of done if she had not come along, we were very happy living with parents life was easy

Like Armadillo though none of my friends have children they all went to uni i did not.
I sometimes find myself thinking what it would of been like for us all to have had children at the sametime.

BeMyLilBaby · 30/03/2008 21:45

i tried uni however i didnt much care for it.. so thats not an issue i havent felt like i am missing out currently and some how fell like life willbe richer with kids x

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shelleylou · 30/03/2008 22:33

i just wanted to add that even with everything that has happened ive never regretted having my ds if anything hes gave me the strength i need.

babyjjbaby · 31/03/2008 00:04

21 that ain't young lol i was prengnant at 15 and coping fine wouldn't change a thing now i am 16 lol

pukka · 31/03/2008 00:07

i had ds ag24, pregnant at 23.
non one i knew, and i meean no one had a baby. i was the freakf or having one so young

TeenyTinyTorya · 31/03/2008 00:07

I was 20 when I had ds, he was an unexpected surprise! However, I now have a beautiful 1 yr old and my career has taken off, so I'm enjoying being a young parent but also being able to work. I do have a great dh and family though, so that helps.

tye · 31/03/2008 00:22

hi, i was 17 when i had my little boy im now 21 and expecting identical twins. at 17 everyone looked at me as if i was crap on there shoes now at 21 all i get is uh 3 kids at your age. me and my partner have been together 6years and i wouldnt change it for anything in this world.

BeMyLilBaby · 31/03/2008 19:07

babyjjbaby can i ask though do you get alot of support form youre mum/family?

and how are you finding gettin an education?

I had my coil out today so its gonna happen son with any luck!

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babyjjbaby · 31/03/2008 19:20

i get support from my ma noone else haven't been to schollsince i were 12 so can't answer that lol but no i wouldn't say i get alot support

BeMyLilBaby · 31/03/2008 19:28

so are you working or anything? do many of your friends have kids? have you had much trouble abbout ure age?

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babyjjbaby · 31/03/2008 19:39

no not working am registred disabled haven't got any friends never have had any and do not want any i prefer to be just me and me family lol yeh but i don't care what other people think

BeMyLilBaby · 31/03/2008 19:48

jj i dont know quite what to sya to that, as long as your happy thats what makes you a gd mum to a LO

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babyjjbaby · 31/03/2008 19:50

i just prefer to be on me own loli don't like going out with friends or nothing what other 16 yr olds would say is good going out together having what they call a good time i'd rather just sit and read or watch some telly or summit and to me a nice day out is taking my lil man to the beach or summit or going shopping

BeMyLilBaby · 31/03/2008 20:00

aw jj thats nice,thats my idea of fun too although cos friends have LO i tend to go with them but its nice that youre so mature

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babyjjbaby · 31/03/2008 20:01

never have been like any1 else tho wouldn't change a thing maybe one thing lol having money to spend on him that would be nice and pay off me debts and buy meself summit thats my plan for the next few mths

BeMyLilBaby · 31/03/2008 20:10

its good you've got a plan, are you still with his dad?

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babyjjbaby · 31/03/2008 20:36

no deffo not lol

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