I live in a small village with my husband and two children. We are far away from family and the nearest town is 45 minutes away but we do not have a car so rely on public transport, this means the list of activities available to us at the weekend (clubs and classes) are minimal.
We moved here just before Covid and in general we love the set up and slower pace of life. The area is ideal for children and we spend a lot of time outdoors.
However my eldest child is 5 and I find the weekends stressful trying to fill their time. When they were younger they could be entertained by the beach and the forest but now they say they find these things boring. All they want to do is play with their friends and this is understandable and I know normal for their age, however they are not yet old enough to be able to act on this by themselves and I feel like I spend my whole weekend desperately trying to arrange play dates or host friends for my child.
The children in the village often call on each other and play on the streets together but our house is slightly secluded from the “centre” so our child can’t really call on their friends the same way- I imagine this will change in a few years and once they’re riding their bike but for now we still have to be nearby. My child is the eldest whilst their friends are all the youngest, meaning sometimes they are playing with their older siblings. I understand that you only see a snippet of others life’s but the impression I always get from other parents in the village is they are just going about their day and their children are getting on with it themselves. I never feel this way, my day centres around entertaining my child and trying to always keep everything easy in a way that behind the scenes I am highly strung. Basically everyone else seems chill and I am not chill.
I hate having to partake in awkward exchanges with other parents where say their children are out or they think they’re at so and so’s house. I do this for the benefit of my 5 year old but then I have to text so and so’s mum and see if they’re there because I can’t just drop my kid in the centre and be like “figure it out for yourself”. Sometimes the other parents just don’t text me back, because I imagine they are doing their own things and their kids are already happily entertained and I hate the dynamic it reinforces because I am already the newest to the village and it makes me feel needy or like I don’t have a life because I’m asking if their kid is free all the time.
I actually think I’m quite good at filling time with young children- we also have a 2 year old who’s regularly at the beach or on a walk, at the playground. But I am struggling because the 5 year old doesn’t want to do any of these things and if they can’t play with friends they just want to stay at home and watch tv. I wouldn’t even mind this as I genuinely think boredom can be good for you in a way but it ends up my 5 year old just annoying our 2 year old, taking their toys, pushing them, arguing over shows and having frequent meltdowns. Our house is also an open plan bungalow and I feel like when our 5 year old is there they are constantly looking to me to entertain them and that’s the opposite of what I’m trying to encourage at this age.
The weekend fills me with stress and anxiety and basically I want to be chill so that my child can be chill but I’m not so they’re not and I don’t know what is coming first the chicken or the egg!