5yo being Inappropriate, is this within the realm of normality or should I be concerned?

[AboutmyDD]

I'm a regular poster who has been here for years, I'm very active on the weight loss board at the minute and I wanted to change my name given the context of the post. MN can verify.

I feel uncomfortable even writing this but it might be projection due to my own issues so I would appreciate some advice (or feel free to tell me to give my head a wobble)

My reception age DD keeps putting her hands down her trousers which I've noticed and told her it's impolite to do that around people so to please stop.

She was being a bit suspicious this morning insisting nobody came into her bedroom so I popped my head around the door (thinking she was drawing on the wall - again) and she was putting a toy figurine inside her underwear.

It's all made me feel quite sad as I have abuse in my own past and as such the first thing I think of is "is she being abused? Is this sexualised behavior?"

Parents of daughters - is this within the realms of normal or am I right to worry? 😔

This is perfectly normal behaviour for a child that age. Many children discover that they like the sensation of touching their own body and should gently be guided towards only doing it in the privacy of their bedroom or the bathroom. I can empathise with your concerns around your own experience of abuse but in the vast majority of cases children are either self soothing or simply like the feeling of it. I'd continue to reinforce things like PANTS and have open conversations around safety with other adults etc but ultimately you don't want to shame your child for what is a perfectly healthy element of development

This is really helpful and such a relief to hear, thank you.

My eldest is a boy and we didn't have this with him however he is autistic and developmentally delayed, so it has come as a bit of a shock with DD as I wasn't expecting it.

I'll make a conscious effort not to shame her as I can see how that could be damaging and I definitely don't want her to feel bad about what is normal development.

It can be very much normal and is certainly something that came up more for me with one of my dd than the other….but it’s always important to have open conversations about other things that may be going on ,as the poster above said with the safety/pants rule but also whether she is experiencing discomfort in the area etc (itching,uti etc). My daughter just said it feels nice to do so fair enough! It’s really good you are acknowledging your own response as if you have abuse in your past ,parenting your own kids can bring up a lot of issues as it re-jigs bad memories and it can be good to get support.

Totally agree with the posters above that exploring is normal development. I'd perhaps also check that she isn't itchy or has any symptoms that could suggest worms, a uti or minor health issue.