Lack of response to direct questions

[Bluebellle]

How normal is this at nearly 3 and a half? I’d say 8 out of 10 times when I ask my child a direct question he doesn’t respond at all. I it’s really frustrating and is affecting our relationship.

Can he hear you? Has he had a hearing check? As well as hearing problems, some people have trouble with "auditory processing", which means while they do hear the sounds they struggle to interpret what the words mean. Or sometimes people just struggle with their focus - if they're concentrating on something else, they don't really hear questions being asked.

So is this usually when he's playing or focusing on something else, or if he's just stood there looking at you and you ask a direct question, is he still not responding? Is it for fun things as well as boring things - so if you say "what do you want for tea?" and he doesn't respond - if you said "do you want an ice cream?" would he still not respond?

My just turned 4 year old does this every day:

what did you do at nursery today? Nothing
What did you have for lunch? Nothing

i find I get a lot more responses if I ask direct questions, like
”did you have pie for lunch today?”
”did Bella do anything funny today?”
”did you feel sad today?”

etc etc

Questions that require choice as an answer?

Is there a telly on at the time? We have to pause it to get any response.
Say their name before asking the question, might increase the chance of them noticing.

I feel like I spend my life saying his name! It is really frustrating. I’ve tried rephrasing the question, choices … just nothing. Other times he’s quite chatty but it’s so annoying just a standard ‘do you want a drink?’ and silence. I’m pretty confident he can hear me.