ASD girls who “masked” - what did their school reports say?

[Paddingtonthebear]

Looking at a possible diagnosis for DD and I'm curious about these girls who are diagnosed a bit later in childhood, because they masked so well or only show a few traits. If your DD was like this, what were their school report comments like, from Reception through to end of Junior School?

Y5 teacher 'I am a little concerned about your child, she spends a lot of time on her own in the playground. She seems happy, but I thought you should know' (We had moved to the school at the beginning of the year). Social relationships began to be complicated. By 15 or so she was spending lunchtime in the library, as the environment (and prob the social aspect) of the lunch hall difficult and overwhelming. Things crumbled more during A levels, diagnosis @ 17, which helped.

Reports were fine - bright academically and able to do work without working much, which is partly why things got difficult @ 6th form.

Mainly bright but disorganised, talks too much,
Could get higher grades if applied herself, but leaves everything to the last minute

In reports - talks too much (although I think she also has adhd tbh), one teacher reported they were dreamy, one complained she was distracted all the time and distracted others (but then backtracked when I mentioned the possibility of being neurodivergent and said everything was fine). On the whole if I asked it was 'everything is great she's fine' when she definitely was not!

Oh she was also described as being manipulative and playing people off against each other and that if she was anxious she hid it very well 🙄

I'm also autistic and my school reports were usually about me being too quiet.

Two different schools and a different teacher every year

“enthusiastic, kind, lovely group of friends”
”participates in class, puts hands up and offers ideas“
”Happy, smiley personality”
”great engagement with others”
”well organised, confident, focuses well”
”role model to others, demonstrates school friendship values to new starters, mentor to younger children for reading”
”kind, considerate, excellent self starter”

Yup.

I always got 'TheBirdintheCave needs to speak up more in class!' 🙄

Yep me too

Teachers (generally) are not very good at picking up ASD traits, especially more subtle ones in girls. Usually they're described as co-operative, keen to please, has friends, well behaved etc.

I work for an ASD service and it is only when we send a very specific social communication questionnaire does it flag up difficulties. Usually things like, tends to be on the periphery of interactions, doesn't ask for help, wouldn't save a seat for a friend, doesn't share their work, can get upset if a preferred friend is not in school.