I had a baby mid-January. Me and my husband live in a small house with our toddler. We have a spare room but agreed that no one would stay the night until I felt ready to host. My in-laws stayed in a hotel when visiting, as did my mum.
My husband had a night out in the diary with a friend in mid-March and wanted said friend to stay the night (travelling home wasn’t an option for him after a day of drinking, however he could have also gotten a hotel). As with everyone else, I said no to him staying, as in addition to having a 8 week old baby, I’d been quite unwell with a long term health condition flaring - I was on steroids and enemas at night, and battling with this alongside looking after a newborn baby who was waking up a number of times a night. Dispute saying no, my husband did not give his friend this message, and made it clear that he was not going to do so - said friend stayed.
I got on with it, I didn’t feel I had much choice, but recently a friend who heard this story shared how disappointed she was with his behaviour (this is just one story in a book of many). I bought it back up with my husband as I never got an apology, and he stated that he didn’t see why it was a problem as he didn’t think that ‘I was that ill anyway’ (this is particularly upsetting, as I had been very unwell). He says I’m pathetic for dwelling on it, shouts, swears and shuts me down (like he does with most things if I ever raise any discontent).
I appreciate this should have been resolved prior to the individual staying in the first place, but am I right to feel that I am not being prioritised? I am ok with my husband continuing to have a social life (he is a big drinker, which has continued to cause all sorts of challenges in recent weeks), but as long as I’m not impacted and it is kept outside of the house.