DH won't engage with help

[Justlivingnextdoor]

Hi my children have been safeguarded and we've been referred to a family assistance charity (not SS) for my DH's anger issues. He doesn't think their is a problem and it's normal tellings off. He is refusing any of the help they are offering e.g. courses and therapy. What will happen next does anyone know?

I would assume if he doesn’t engage you’ll be at risk of your children being put on a CP Plan and if you continue to allow him near them you may be at risk of losing them. Personally if my children were in the position of needing safeguarded from the other parent he wouldn’t be in my life. Your post isn’t clear if you live together or not so it's hard to advise really.

I'm not sure what I mean by your children being safeguarded but not referred to SS but if someone outside the family has identified that your children are at risk to the point they've raised the alarm and it has resulted in a referral, I'd expect SS involvement at some point.

If SS become involved and agree your DH is a risk to your children, the options will depend on what he's doing to put them at risk. Usually though, they expect that either your DH engages with support in order to reduce the risk, or for you to safeguard the children by removing them from the risk.

When you say 'tellings off' what do you mean?

How did the safeguarding come about?

Sorry I don't know this system at all. I'm very confused and not in a good place atm. By tellings off I mean him loosing his temper and shouting at them.

They had a anonymous report from someone.

You've been referred to social services? Early help?

What will happen if he doesn't accept help is either they will leave you alone (if the situation isn't that serious) or they will escalate to child protection if it is. None of us know how bad things are from your explanation. However the biggest question is why are you staying with a man who is losing his temper with the kids and doesn't think he's doing anything wrong?

Who referred you to the charity for help? Was the Safeguarding dealt with by school or something similar?

It depends at what level the support has been put in place. If you are open to early help or placed on a child in need plan yours and your partners engagement is voluntary so there is no requirement for him to engage with the support. At this point it may be referred for assessment to see if the case meets child protection threshold, if it does then that’s when his involvement becomes mandatory or risk your children being placed in alternative care.

I'm sorry you're not in a good place. But you seem more worried about the plan and SS than you are about their father being so angry and shouting at them that they aren't safe.

What's YOUR plan, rather than SS's? Will you leave him?

Someone is so concerned about his abuse towards the kids that they reported you

This is serious

How are you planning to safeguard your kids from him ?

If he won't engage you could get into real trouble,

What do you think ?
Are you safe?

I am putting together a plan. I just need it to be watertight. We are safe ATM.