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Co-parenting nightmare!

2 replies

smiler2024 · 11/04/2024 12:21

Hi
I’m new here but looking for advice.
I seperated from my partner 18 months ago and we agreed at the time that he would take our son 50/50 - 4 days on, 4 days off to suit his shift pattern. During that time dad has had multiple girlfriends and places to live. He’s now living with someone he’s know 5 months and subsequently my Son lives there on his 4 days.
During the past 12 months i’ve paid for the clothes for both houses and school trips etc. We agreed that now he lives in a new house i would have £150 per month as per the Gov calculator and i’d pay for clothes still .
He now won’t pay £150 per month yet i’m still expected to pay his clothes , trips, football fees etc . I’ve started a claim with the child maintenance to let them decide as i’m getting mixed responses on line. I was very honest with the calculator and said that my son sleeps there half of the time. at the moment i’m told by my ex i can’t move house as ge won’t allow my son to move school. I’ve been added to a whatsapp group with him , his new partner and his mum and dad and i can only communicate through that. I feel very upset and feel that i have to run my plans with my little boy by 4 people for approval. I’m not bothered if child maint come back with a an amount of zero to be honest but i don’t want to have to pay for everything for both houses! nor do i want to be told where i can and can’t live! I’m at the end of my tether

OP posts:
ironorchids · 11/04/2024 12:32

Why can you only communicate via a WhatsApp group you've been added to?

Create a new group, add your ex and remove yourself from the previous group. Tell him you'll be communicating about your child via this group only.

Fargo79 · 11/04/2024 12:49

Nah fuck that. Remove yourself from the WhatsApp group and contact him directly. Don't respond to anything from girlfriends or grandparents. Don't respond to any vitriol or anything off topic. I'd still pay the football and trips if you can because ultimately it's DS who loses out if you don't. Don't send any clothes or anything to his dad's. Just the clothes he's wearing. If you feel that he's not being cared for when he's there (i.e. his father isn't providing clean clothes etc) then you're going to have to go through court in all likelihood.

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