Since we split my ex has never had our children overnight or at his house. He will see them by coming down here and "taking them out for the day" for several reasons this has not worked mainly as he is unable to stick to it (we don't live near each other and it's a long way to travel to "take them out for the day" which really means 2/3 hours max as it's never been the whole day)
Well he never ever sticks to it and usually promises to come down on certain days then doesn't show up with no warning or cancels the night before. I suspect he finds it too expensive to take the children out regularly he hasn't said this but I do suspect that's one of the reason as the only place he takes them other than the park is the cinema which works out pricey and not something he could afford once a week so it was at a point where he would see them every month or longer. I know he doesn't want to hang out on the street with them for hours on end and I suspect also that he struggles with taking them places hence preferring the cinema as the times he's come down to take them to the park it's lasted around 45 minutes before he brings them back or he often asks me if I want to come with them. Anyway without fail contact always dwindles and he stops coming to see them or making any effort and he hasn't seen them since last year now. I know his preference would be to have them in my house but I am no longer allowing that (use to years ago) he hasn't seen them since last year and has been back in contact. I would like to tell him that in order for him to have a relationship with the children he needs to have a place he can take them to and possible have them overnight, he cannot and has not been able to build a relationship with them by taking them out for 2/3 hours every couple of months and he can't stick to it. How would you word this message that he needs to be able to take them and that days out haven't worked for the last few years so it needs to change? I'm fed up of him promising to come down and take the kids places then not showing up taking them out for the day is not a long term plan and clearly hasn't worked so far.