My BIL and SIL don't live that far from us but we rarely see them, just a few times a year. They have 2 DSs, a 2 year old and an 8 year old. They are my DSs only cousins, so on one hand I want them to have some kind of relationship but the 8 year old cousin always upsets them. My 2 are much more reserved personalities where as DN loves to be the centre of attention and everything is a competition, and at which he goes on and on about being the best at everything. My DSs are 9 and 5. DN will say things slyly to my younger DS that put him down and when I catch him saying things like that I have told him that's not nice and reassured my younger DS. My older DS gets irritated by him and will remove himself from any play happening if it makes him uncomfortable. I do feel that one of the reasons for DNs behaviour is the lack of boundaries and the lack of follow through on consequences by BIL and SIL. They never say no to him and when they do DN has a meltdown and they give in. I know parenting is hard, but I do find their style too permissive. I just not sure how to navigate this to help improve the relationships between the cousins.