Moving when kids don't want to?

[MintGreenC]

Has anyone moved when their kids have been reluctant to move? Did they eventually settle?

How far, what ages, what are you/they getting in the new versus old place.

Moving a 15 yo away from their boyfriend, friends, school and everything because you want to live rurally is very different to moving a 3 yo closer to family.

How old are they? Will it disrupt their GCSEs or A'levels?

Have they a close group of friends that they want to stay with.

Is the move absolutely unavoidable?

Not far about an hour, child is 10 so won't affect anything like GCSEs etc other children happy to move.

It will affect transition to secondary though and having to make friends ago.

To be honest, it's probably the best year to do it, if you have to move. The 10yo will get at senior school at the same time as every one else.

Why don't they want to?

Thanks that's helpful

They like the house/ area is the reason given.

My parents moved my sibling and I when we desperately didn’t want to. It didn’t go well for me at all and I am in my 40s, but still occasionally wonder “what would my life be like if we didn’t go?” Not healthy; but I do it sometimes.

Parents said later that it was a big mistake as my sibling and I found it so hard. They say they should have waited another 8-10 years (when we’d both gone off to university) and moved then.

What are the reasons for the move?

We moved much further than an hour (about 4 hours) and I never saw anyone from my old life again and we never went back to visit. I think if we’d kept in touch and visited often, maybe things would have been better but they wouldn’t have made the move ok for me. The move was disastrous. I lost all my confidence and I think it’s partially why I’m such a people pleaser now.

Yes I understand that however there is no one here he would be leaving? And no one to visit, just says he likes the house/ area.

For me, I had friends at school and on our street, I felt safe and confident and happy and I loved our house.

Does your DS not have the same?

Why do you want to move?

I never wanted to move but didn't have a choice
Moved age 1,3,4,5, 9, 11 and then my parents moved again when I was 17 and living away at college
3 nurseries, 2 nannies, 2 primary schools, 3 secondary and 2 colleges. I'm mostly fine except for a distinct lack of interest in ever moving

No friends here kids don't play out on the street here it's a main road we don't see any kids here, neighbours are elderly. Friends at school but no one he is overly close to as they don't meet outside of school and will likely go to different schools anyway.

Wow that's a lot, he has lived here his whole life so at least that's something!

What’s the benefit of the move? If there’s a very distinct one, then maybe he can see that?

So he has no friends at home or school? I think there’s your real worry.

I moved age 10, was fine - much more disruptive once in secondary school. I assume you are moving for a significant reason / significant upgrade in house - but hard to comment without knowing.

I didn't say that I said he has friends at school but they don't meet out of school.

Thanks yes it will be a much better area right now we don't live in a good area and the secondary schools have quite bad reputations I would like to move to a nicer area. There is quite a few reasons for the move but that is one of the main ones.

My advice would be definitely go for it if your ds is 10 years and you are worried about secondary schools in your current area.

Peer pressure and influence is really key during andolescence and it helps a lot if dc in environment where it’s not considered “lame” to study.