How much do your 8 - 10 year olds do at home?

[ScotttCheggg]

Is it unreasonable to expect my 10 year old to pick up after herself? She is the loveliest person, but she leaves her belongings all over the house and seemingly never notices this. Do I just pick it up for an easy life, or would you expect her to do it?

My 8 (nearly 9) year old, meanwhile, is a horribly messy eater and makes a huge toddler-esque mess whenever he eats. I am sick of being on my hands & knees picking up peas / scrambled egg / cleaning up millions of crumbs every meal time. Would it be unreasonable to expect him to clear up instead as I feel like, until he realises how unpleasant it it, he will just to continue to make a huge mess?!

They will take their plates to the kitchen after dinner, but don’t scrape their food off or put their stuff in the dishwasher. I feel like I’ve lost sight of what is reasonable. They are at school 8-4pm (7:40-4:25 including the commute) each day and I think this warps my perception as I feel guilty about the long day 🤦‍♀️

They have zero assigned chores otherwise and both have diagnosed ADHD if this makes any difference…

Commenting to follow! My 8 year old DD does less than her 4 year old little sister…

I don’t put washing away for the eldest now (just deliver a pile of clean clothes) so the little one fetches her clean clothes from the drying racks to put away.

They don’t always manage to clear their plates from the table. The little one sets the table for dinner.

Although to be fair to the eldest, she does help with her sister, helping with reading and homework, and general entertainment.

I’m hoping others will join the thread to say they will suddenly start putting things back in their own rooms at some point instead of distributing everything all over the house!

My DDs are teens now but at that age they:
-unloaded the parts of the d/w that they could put away (some things were on on higher shelves)

• put their wet socks/pants on the drying rack
• put their clean, dry clothes in drawers/closet
• put their dirty dishes in the d/w and cleared up their table in the kitchen
• made their own packed lunches
• brought bins from all over house to kitchen for consolidation on 'bin night' and returned bins to bedrooms, etc.
• brought groceries in from car and put them away

The hardest part about all of this was that there wasn't much of a schedule: it was all as and when so a certain amount of reminding was necessary. It seems like a lot, written down, but in fact it's hardly anything.

They should be scraping off their plates and putting them into the dishwasher. In primary schools when they have a school lunch they scrape their waste food off their trays, empty their water glasses etc and put their cutlery in the correct place, from 4 years of age. No one else does it for them.

You need to start now, they should be putting their dirty laundry into the hamper, hang up their own coats, put shoes away etc. Don't underestimate what they are expected to do at school. You keep adding to it until they are able to look after themselves. But you set them up for success with lists and chore charts that they tick off or put stickers on.

From around your children's ages everyone was responsible for clearing the dinner table, all items into the kitchen, plates scraped etc. The table can be wiped down by them, teach them how to do that, lay out expectations. Also inspect it, don't let them leave it and you end up doing it. They will definitely wipe tables down in class in school. I used to volunteer in a school. We had a no one leaves the kitchen until it is all done, they can both dry anything that is hand washed but I would start with non-breakable items. This way they see all the work that goes into the daily post dinner routine. They can also set a table. We put music on or podcasts so they could listen to that whilst doing things.

My youngest child is now 18, rooms are tidy, chores done without being asked, just routine for them. At 10 and 8 they can also probably strip their beds too. Show them what you do, mine knew that I cleaned the waste trap on the dishwasher, emptied the tumble drier fluff collector not just the one you do every time but the main one as well. Basically over a school holiday I did a take a child to work except I was a sahm so they saw all the things I did like bathroom cleaning

I don't think mine do enough. They make their beds and put PJs away (not very neatly but I need to get everyone out of the house), sometimes they help set the table (not enough) they help clear it every time and help load dishwasher (we help them with scraping) unload dishwasher and put things away (no always, depending on when it needs to be done). We don't get them to put their clean clothes away as they would end up stuffed in drawers and creased up so they just put dirty clothes in basket and sometimes load washing machine. Every now and then we clean their room together (dusting and hoovering). I keep thinking we should devise a rota but I'm tired of organising everything so waiting in vain for my husband to take the initiative on that one!

Lol at waiting for your husband. I've decided to recruit my children to assist as husband apparently is incompetent.

We've started a family clear up after supper where people wipe tables, hoover, tidy up, get things ready for the next day. 10 and 12 yo also empty dishwasher, get their own breakfast and lunch and generally keep their rooms tidy.

I have more for them to come...

My 5 year old and almost 2 year olds have to put all their toys away before bed each day (obviously I help with this). The 5 year old lays the table for dinner. They all take plates to kitchen after dinner. They all help to load and unload the dishwasher. 5 year old sometimes puts her washing away with direction. Almost 2 year olds put washing in and out of the machine with supervision.

Wow, OK, I need to encourage mine to do more I think. Thank you for the replies; it’s been eye-opening!