Scared my child into an obsessive worry :(

[Edithwashere]

A few months ago my 3 year old was playing up a bit and bedtime, splashing her water from her water bottle at her night light and the plug. It had been a long day and I snapped at her to stop doing that, and that mixing water and electricity wasn’t safe. She asked me what happened and I explained about electric shocks; I think in a child friendly way, I.e very simply they can hurt you and break things, but I suppose my snappy tone wasn’t great.

She has since developed a fear around things that are electric, always asking me if there’s any electricity, will it hurt her. I feel awful. My mother used to panic us about dangers, and I’ve experienced anxiety myself, I’ve tried not to repeat this but I’ve obviously slipped up here.

I’ve tried explaining that things are made to be safe, the world is a safe place, my role is to keep her safe, nothing will hurt her, our house is safe etc etc, she’s still worried.

Any reassurance or advice? What should I do. I’m so worried (ha) that we’ve fallen into the same patterns from my childhood.

Just go completely the other way

"Does this have electricity that will hurt me?"
"The electricity is in wires hidden behind the wall. It can't hurt you. We shouldn't put water on electrical things because they could break and be dangerous so we don't do that."

Repeat repeat repeat. Don't deviate from the script. Your response is factual, not alarming, and she'll get bored of the same response.

If you get sucked into big conversations about it you'll feed her anxiety. That's all she needs to know at her age. It will pass and then the conversation can be broached again when she's older and forgotten all about any of this.

I had a chat with my child around that age how anything is safe if used correctly and anything is dangerous if not used correctly. We made it a game and had lots of giggles trying to think of an exception to this rule. Eg she said well a sofa is safe and I said not if you drop it on your head, or eat it. And she said a sock is safe and I said but it’s dangerous if you use it as a parachute. Or fire can be dangerous but not if its used in a controlled way to cook. Etc.

Just keep saying that electricity is perfectly safe if used correctly, and that until she is big enough to make her own decisions, grown ups will help her use things correctly.

I talk about tools, about how important it is to use the right tool for the job, to use things safely. It’s good she knows water and electricity don’t mix. Now she can keep herself safe.

Tools are safe if you use them correctly. Electricity is safe if you use it correctly.

Love this 😁 great advice.

The emphasis being on using tools safely, staying safe, rather than x,y,z are dangerous.

She needs strategies to stay safe, rather than warnings about danger.

Do you see what I mean?

Strategies to stay safe rather than warnings about danger. Thank you.
And the comment about wires behind the wall, this is helpful.
So I guess I’m completely ignorant and have zero memory of GCSE science but is it therefore right that eg touching a light switch with wet hands, or throwing water on a wire from a lamp is perfectly fine!?

She needs to know that water and electricity don't mix. But you can rein it back in from your initial reaction and just keep explaining it briefly and blandly. I think your first reaction is causing her to keep asking.

My son is 2 and a half and he takes similar obsessions over things if I have a shocked reaction to them. He repeatedly talks about whatever it is. Your daughter is older so she's full of why questions. It's normal for her to be processing it and making sense of it.

I think PPs suggestion of talking about things being safe as long as we use them safely is great. And being silly with it is genius. "We don't take the hairdryer to the swimming pool with us" type of humour. She just needs to understand that electrical things are safe but not if we throw water over them.

I appreciate this. My initial response was worded OK but the alarm needed to be dialled down. Thank you - guilt slightly reduced.

I think yes, I need to lighten up, and have quite a strict script around it which I don’t waver from so she can internalise what I’m saying properly, and be open to questions.

Don't feel guilty about it. If my son chucked water on an electrical appliance I'd have the same reaction! It's also good for them to know that some things are serious business.

The thing about wet hands and switches- the thing to remember is that ‘elf and safety have engineered things so we are actually pretty safe in all normal circumstances. We don’t touch sockets with wet hands, but the light switches and sockets are now outside the bathroom and where they aren’t we have those dangling pulls.

It’s belt and braces- all being well, the plastic switch covers are enough to keep us safe. Sometimes there’s an error behind the plastic cover so best have dry hands just in case!

I don’t understand electricity at all, and am just pleased that there are triple layers of protection built into our appliances! Circuit breakers, switches, insulation, multiple interventions so we don’t have to understand electricity to use it safely!