Son is hitting and grabbing.

[babycakes778]

My son is being referred for a ADHD.

I find when he is over excited doesn't like something his impulse is telling hit.

This is really difficult when we're out at places like soft play which he enjoys because he tends to end up hurting someone or getting in trouble.

Today I had an issue where I found that he had hit another child at soft play. Parent was not happy which I understand but the dad was really aggressive towards me said to his son in front of me 'don't worry son we will smash him in the face' the area which he had been in was very boystrous so I find it doesn't help things.

I then took my son for a time out where he had the sit out for 10 minutes. We talked about what happened I explained it wasn't good enough. I also said if we stayed at soft play he was not able to go the area where they all were where things were abit boisterous. After that he was ok majority of the time.

Is there any other strategies that I could use to deal with this behavior?

How old is he?

Sorry he's 5.

If he hits a child you should leave every time I’m afraid. I would give him a warning at the start, that if he hits or is rough with another child he will be going home right away. And then stick to it. Being consistent with consequences really helps with this kind of behaviour. I don’t think a time out cuts it. Hitting other kids at this age is really serious imo.

Why are you letting him go off alone in soft play when you know he's violent towards other children?

You need to enable good behaviour by not putting him in situations you know he will find hard to manage. So going to a busy soft play where you can't directly supervise him all the time is likely to lead to trouble. And yes, it's time to go home if he hits another child.

I still have to watch mine like a hawk, and would have to follow him round within arms reach at all soft play type settings unless they were very quiet.

I don’t go to soft play with my kids ( neither of them are ADHD ) for this very reason they get wayyyyy too over whelmed too quickly. Also, I follow them round constantly so I’m exhausted by end of it. My point being is don’t take him to soft play unless you’re going to be following if you know he has issues with hitting. The dad who said that though sounds awful.
I don’t agree with the first strike and you’re out - you got him to sit out for ten and he learned from it, no need to go over dramatic and go straight home.

Just wanted to say we went through this with our son when he was 5 and started school... he started hitting other children. We realise now it was down to anxiety and overstimulation in certain situations and has now been diagnosed with autism

I just wanted you to know it does get better. He's now 7 and doesn't hit. We really struggled and all the time outs, punishments etc never helped as it was in the moment and he just couldn't control it. We felt lost and absolutely awful as we just didn't know what to do. I think age and feeling more understood just helped but there was no one thing. It was just time. You're not alone in this and it's difficult to understand if you've not been through it yourself as it isn't as easy as just having a consequence for the behaviour. It's literally like he had no control over it (impulsiveness)