Attachment

[Mumofone000]

My dd is nearly two and up until just before Xmas our relationship/attachment was doing great or I thought it was. My eldest took ill before xmas which resulted in me having to leave dd in a stressful situation with my parents, she was hysterical and then I didn’t see her for three days whilst ds was in hospital. Fast forward to Christmas my husband changes jobs/has over two weeks off where dd is beside herself with change of routine, won’t look at me or come near me for over a week. It was the worst time. Things improved slightly but only really when dh is at work and this is how it’s continuing. I’m so worried my relationship is ruined with dd. It feels like a coping mechanism she’s found when she’s had to leave me? She radiates to dad when he’s around

Does anyone know how best to improve relationships and improve attachment?

It’s triggered a bad bout of depression since xmas and find myself letting her be with dad when she’s with dad as the rejection is awful.

Nothing is irreparably damaged. Yes, she is likely responding to lots of change and the trauma of her older sibling being unwell.

Lots of love, affection, 1:1 time and reassurance. Try to be calm and steady for her as she will likely be very sensitive to the emotions of others.

Look up Dan Hughes. He's an expert on attachment and therapeutic parenting. His PACE techniques are often used to de-escalate outbursts and challenging behaviour but you can use these all the time.

Maintain good boundaries and routines. It's tempting at times like these to throw structure out of the window but that's what helps children feel safe and grounded.