Return to work - baby brain!

[Nellie1027]

I returned to work in January after over a year off work following having my little girl. I work in a role in the NHS that requires me to remember a lot of information. I am also a supervisor to other staff so have to remember a lot about their work loads too.

Since returning my brain just does not work like it did before. I forget things all the time, my organisation skills are terrible and I make mistakes all over the place. I have always liked to think I am a reliable member of the team but now I just feel like I’m letting everyone down all the time.

I don’t know how to make this better for myself. My role requires a lot of patient facing work in a hospital ward which means I am moving about all the time. I don’t have my own desk or space to organise myself. Every day is different so getting into a routine is hard too. I try making sure I am as organised as possible when the day starts but it just unravels as the day goes on.

My managers have been lovely about it. They know that I have been finding things hard and have been very supportive. But equally they need me to be reliable in my job which I feel I am not at the moment.

I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences returning to work after having a baby, and if so, did it get better?! I feel like this ‘baby brain’ is just not going away!

I went from mat leave to sick leave as I was still in a mother and baby unit with severe depression when I finished mat leave. It took 3 months for me to work up from 2 days a week to 4 days a week. Where I learnt I can't do more than 2 days a week so I do 4 days with Wednesdays off

My role is quite varied too I'm split between lab work, meetings on the days in my office, data processing and the project work. I did a lot of bullet journals when I was doing my PhD so I have started that again. I have an a4 page a week and a 3 column table at the page for the day on my diary and tasks I want or need to do on that day. At the bottom of the page two todo lists one for home and one for work. I find it very distracting having to remember to phone the GP at lunch or to remember to check how many days of medication my daughter has left. This frees up that brain space.

Mornings are not my thing so I make sure I do all the packing for the week on a Sunday night. Piles of clothes are laid out for the full week at nursery too. In the mornings I get up. Make coffee, get myself dressed, get my daughter dressed then teeth for both of and leave. At a push I can do it in 15-20minutes especially if I get dressed downstairs whilst the kettle boils and on a typical day we are out in 25-30minutes. My daughter is not allowed downstairs until we are ready to leave so there is no pulling her away from toys.

For me it has been about finding the times when I function best and making the most of those times to make it easier on the times when functioning is harder.
Lots of notes and reminders. It took probably 4 months from when I was there 4 days a week to find a groove that worked for me.

Yes feel exactly the same. Had twins and returned to work (also NHS, pt facing) after just over a year, doing 1 LD a week. Kept forgetting everything, lost a lot of confidence as I had been away and to be honest even after 1.5 years I still feel the same - doing 1 day a week isn't enough to keep abreast of all the changes that have happened. I just feel like a scatterbrain all the time and my self esteem isn't great re work but I remember the phrase I heard - "there is a season for everything " - this isn't my time to fully focus on work - and doing one day a week is better than not going back at all. Appreciate I'm lucky to be able to do this at all when the kids are small. Go easy on yourself :)

A good note book and one of these 4 colours in one BIC pens is a good start.

i also used to be big on multitasking.
now i do one thing at a time whenever i can.

i also use my phone heavily - calendar reminders for meetings and things to do.

there is also a function on emails that lets you add a follow up so i. Send an email that needs a response by Friday I take it for Thursday so i can double check if they got back to me and if not send a follow up email to prompt them.

IME it does - eventually! - pass for me, a lot of it was hormone and sleep deprivation related, some of it was just because I was still adjusting to being a working Mum. Are you still breastfeeding / how does your baby sleep? Go easy on yourself x

Thank you all for your lovely replies, you're all so kind

@Superscientist I'm sorry that you had such a hard time after having your little one, I hope that you are feeling much more your usual self now?
I do work Mon-Weds 8-6 and the occasional weekend day. I do try to be organised on a Sunday night, making my lunches and making sure my bag and my little one is all packed and ready to go in the morning. My husband works shift work and sometimes is around and sometimes isn't so this complicates things. I also put piles of clothes out too so that we can get up in the morning, changed and out the door.
You sound very organised and you're right, maybe I need to put more focus into the times that I work best. Thanks for your response 😊

@Motherrr oh this is exactly how I feel, I'm sorry you feel the same too though ☹️ everything
changes so much and I miss things and it's so frustrating. When I went back to work I knew I wouldn't be my usual self and I kept saying I was ok with this given I wanted to focus on being a mum. I think I just really need to let myself believe that that is ok and not a bad thing. Thanks for your response 😊

@GreatGateauxsby that is a great idea, I'll try and go out and get one this weekend 😊 my role requires me to multitask a lot of the time which I feel is where I am struggling. People will often come up and tell me things half way through jobs, and I am expected to start and stop jobs throughout the day. It's tricky. I am not really allowed on my phone on the ward which is a shame as I think that would be a great way to do this too. Thanks for your response 😊

@tortiecat I stopped breastfeeding when my little girl was 14 months, just before I returned to work. I think I would have found it too hard juggling that too. Her sleep is up and down, sometimes sleeps through, sometimes wakes for a cuddle or wakes for hours on end, it's like a sleep roulette at the moment! You're right though, I think the sleep deprivation has more of an impact than I think. Even when I feel fine my brain just isn't working at the pace it used to because of this! Thanks for your response 😊

This exact thing ended my nursing career. My supervisor turned my entire team on me in revenge for asking for flexible working hours. Even newly qualified nurses had a dig at the band 6 I was. I'll never go back.